If It Were Up To Me
by Emaline
Summary: Sequel to Always Leave them wanting more. Will Jess' father screw things up? Will Lorelai and Luke ever get it together? Will Rory get a taste of Jess' old life? read and find out! hehehe
1. Introduction

A/N: This is a sequel to my other story, Always Leave Them Wanting More. So I HIGHLY suggest that you read the other one FIRST! Otherwise this one won't make much sense.  
  
*****************************  
  
Intro...  
  
******************************  
  
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you  
  
Tomorrow I'll miss you  
  
Remember I'll always be true  
  
And then while I'm away  
  
I'll write home every day  
  
And I'll send all my loving to you...  
  
**********************************  
  
Rory collapsed on her bed. It had been a long, long night. Since she was officially out of school, her mother had been encouraging her to stay out extra late and savor the feeling of such freedom. She seemed to forget that there was nothing to do in Stars Hollow late at night besides hang out at Luke's drinking coffee and steal junk food from the back room when he wasn't looking.  
  
Looking at the clock, her eyes widened. It was almost 11 o'clock. Considering the high speed at which Jess generally drove, when Rory wasn't in the passenger seat demanding that he slow down, he should have gotten to New York about 45 minutes ago. Rory rushed to the living room and checked the messages.  
  
"You have one new message," said the mechanical voice on the answering machine.  
  
Rory smiled. "He's a good man; true to his word."  
  
"First new message," said the voice.  
  
"Rory," said Lane's voice over the phone's speaker, "We HAVE to talk. Come down to the party, PLEASE? I'll be there for a while, my mother thinks I'm staying at your house tonight, so please come down, it's important! Ok, gotta go, bye."  
  
Rory sighed, disappointed. He hadn't called like he'd said he would. Rory reached for the phone impulsively and began to dial his number from memory, but stopped herself after the first few numbers. "Don't freak out," she prompted herself, putting the phone down, decidedly. "Everything's ok now, there's no reason to get all girly and insecure." After a sigh, she stood and headed upstairs to her mother's room.  
  
"Hey mom, could I- what are you doing?"  
  
Lorelai was standing in front of the mirror, her shirt lifted up to expose her stomach, a pout on her lips. "I think Taylor's soda shoppe made me fat."  
  
"After one night of eating there?" Rory tried to reason with her.  
  
"Look at my stomach!" Lorelai whined. "It's getting so big, it's about ready to start it's own website!"  
  
"Mom,--"  
  
"Www.lorelai'sbigfatstomach.com."  
  
"Mom, I-"  
  
"It's going global in a week, and they're designing promotional tee shirts as we speak."  
  
"Mom," Rory said with a sigh, "as much as I sympathize with you and your tummy ache, I need to ask you a serious question, and therefore I need you to be just a little serious. But only for a little bit, I promise."  
  
Lorelai let her shirt fall back down into place. "Fine. What's the story, morning glory?"  
  
Rory sighed. "I know it's kind of late, but Lane is still at the graduation party, and she left a message saying she really needs me to come down there for some reason. I don't really know why, but I-"  
  
"Oh honey, enough said," Lorelai cut her explanation off. "Lane needs you. Go on, have fun. Be back by 1:30 at the latest ok?"  
  
Rory smiled, grateful. "Probably earlier than that," she said, heading towards the stairs.  
  
"Yeah whatever!" Lorelai called after her. "If you can't find anything slutty enough to wear, come back up, I'll lend you something!"  
  
******************************************  
  
The roads seemed to extend on forever.  
  
Jess liked that about highways. If it weren't for the yellow lines glaring in his eyes, driving on the highway would almost be like sleep. It was just calm; the only thing that could make it better was a good book. Well... that, and a certain someone sitting in the passenger seat.  
  
He almost regretted not asking her to come with him. But after a moment of consideration, he decided it would be better this way. He didn't want her to have to see him when he finally met the man whose mere existence had plagued his thoughts for years. He couldn't predict, or even imagine what his reaction might be. He didn't want to. It nearly made him sick to his stomach to think of it.  
  
It was getting late. He should have been there by now... but he'd already spontaneously turned back towards Stars Hollow twice in a sudden panic. He'd get halfway back to the fairy tale town before realizing how stupid he was acting and turning once again back towards New York.  
  
But now it was late, and he was right between the two places he'd ever thought of as home. He had to stop and rest. He wasn't good at driving long distances. He'd grown up in New York City; he only ever used the train or his own two feet.  
  
Spotting a sign for a motel, Jess pulled off the highway, turning his music up to keep himself wide awake. But as he put on the brakes in the parking lot, he turned the music down low and pulled out his cell phone. He wanted to call her. He'd promised he would.  
  
One ring. Two rings. Three. Four.  
  
Click.  
  
"Hey there, you've reached Lorelai and little Lorelai at the Crap shack. Leave us a name and a number, and maybe we'll call you back." Giggle. "Hey I rhymed! Here's the beep!"  
  
Jess hung up before the answering machine started recording him. He didn't really have anything to say; he didn't know why he'd really called in the first place.  
  
With a sigh, he locked his car and headed to the front desk to get a room for the night. He would call her tomorrow, after he got there... if he could ever work up enough nerve to actually make it there.  
  
*************************************  
  
A/N: So yeah, sorry guys, I know that was really short. But hey it was just an introduction. The next chapter, which will be longer, will be up by the end of the week I promise. Please give me feedback!!!!!! Please!!!!!  
  
~Emaline  
  
ps. The story is named after a song by this group called Rooney... they're not bad, I would recommend them to anybody who wants something fun and uplifting to listen to. 


	2. The Artful Dodger

Chapter One  
  
The Artful Dodger  
  
**************************************************  
  
It doesn't mean I didn't try  
  
I just never know why  
  
It isn't cause I'm all alone  
  
Baby you're not at home  
  
And even though they don't show  
  
The scars aren't so old  
  
And when they go  
  
They let you know  
  
You can't put your arms around a memory  
  
So don't try...  
  
***********************************  
  
As Rory walked up the front steps to the house in which the party was being held, she could feel the loud bass of the song they were playing inside vibrating through her body. She suddenly realized, seeing the mass of teenagers constantly moving, that she and Lane probably should have agreed on a meeting place, but moments after she stepped inside, Lane rushed to her side. She'd been waiting for her to arrive.  
  
"Rory!" Lane squealed, relieved to see her face.  
  
Rory smiled back at her. "Hey there, high school graduate. What's going on?"  
  
"Huge news, lots to discuss," Lane said. She was rambling, a mile a minute. She took Rory's hand and started leading her around the outskirts of the crowd, saying, "We should go talk someplace quieter."  
  
Confused, Rory followed her towards the back of the house. They went outside onto the back porch and sat on the stairs together, Lane's legs jittering with anxiety.  
  
Rory chuckled a little. "What is going on? You're acting like a speed freak!" her chuckles faded a bit as she added with concern, "You didn't so any speed tonight, did you?"  
  
Lane shook her head. "No, come on. I may admire that whole Andy Warhol scene, but I don't want to live it, no way." Lane took a deep breath.  
  
"Well then what is it?" Rory asked. "You made it sound kind of like a life or death thing on the phone."  
  
"It's Dave," Lane said.  
  
Rory's stomach surged with worry. "Oh God, what happened?"  
  
"No no," Lane assured her. "It's nothing bad." A grin crept across her lips as she added, "He's staying in Connecticut for college."  
  
Rory's eyes widened. "He's staying here? I thought he was supposed to go to California."  
  
"He was. But he decided he wants to stay around New England. For me." She giggled a little. "Well also because he'd be near New York, and New York has a far cooler music scene than California."  
  
"Oh please," Rory said with a grin. "He's staying for you, Lane. Face it. He's infatuated with you." She continued with a sarcastic tone. "But you should watch out, make sure it doesn't start bordering on stalking. Cuz then that would be a little scary. And also criminal."  
  
"Speaking of criminals," Lane began with a sarcastic smile, "How'd it go with Jess?"  
  
Rory sighed, trying not to let her anxiety show. "It went fine. We said we'd see each other in two weeks, and there was talk of a pony. I can't remember why exactly there was a pony in the conversation now that I think of it, but the point is, there was." Rory eyes lit up with an excited smile as she remembered, "Oh! And Gypsy made Luke and Jess hug!"  
  
"Awwww," Lane cooed. "They finally had their 7th heaven moment. Was it good?"  
  
Rory nodded. "It was pretty entertaining." With nothing left to say, Rory's smile faded; she couldn't keep it up. She was never very good at keeping up façades.  
  
"You're worried, aren't you?" Lane read her thoughts exactly. Rory gave up; she was a horrible liar.  
  
"Yes, I'm worried!" she cried. She calmed herself a little with a long sigh. "He said he would call as soon as he got there. He left hours ago, he should be there by now, and he should have called. He should have left a message, at least."  
  
Lane smiled a little. "Rory, don't take this the wrong way," she said cautiously, "but you're acting insane."  
  
"But I'm sure you mean that in the nicest way possible, right?" Rory retorted, bitterly. She felt bad; she didn't mean to snap at Lane, she was just frustrated. Thankfully, Lane understood, and took it all with a grain of salt.  
  
"Maybe there's traffic or something," Lane offered. "Rory, a million things could have happened to prevent him from getting there on time. Or maybe he's just wiped out and needs to sleep, and he'll call you tomorrow."  
  
"He never sleeps," Rory argued. "I mean, yeah, occasionally, but generally, he's a night owl. He likes to lurk around, and it's easier to blend in when it's dark out. And he never-"  
  
"Rory, chill out!!!" Lane commanded. "Just listen to how crazy you sound for a second."  
  
Knowing she'd been defeated, Rory crossed her arms with a sigh. "You're right. I'm being that girl again."  
  
"Which girl?"  
  
"The one who goes all schizo the minute her boyfriend doesn't return her call."  
  
Lane nodded. "Oh right. THAT girl."  
  
"I don't like that girl," Rory said. "She's a little obsessive. And I think also kind of whiny."  
  
"Hey," Lane comforted her, "You have every right to be that girl, what with all the stuff that's been going down lately. I mean one minute, everything with Jess is great, the next minute, you're broken up. Then you're back together, and two days later, he skips town." She paused, and offered Rory a warm smile. "Plus, I'll even put up with that girl for a while. At least until Jess calls."  
  
Rory smiled. "Thanks."  
  
Hearing the back door open, the two girls turned to see Dave sticking his head out the door with an apprehensive grin.  
  
"Hey Rory," he said, before looking to Lane. "Am I interrupting something?"  
  
Before Lane had a chance to tell him they were having girl talk, Rory told him it was no big deal. It was Lane's graduation party, she deserved to go off and have a good time with her boyfriend instead of listening to her friend whine. She sent Lane inside with Dave to dance, while she pulled out her copy of Faulkner's "As I Lay Dying" and began to read. However, the subject and depressing mood of the book didn't lift her spirits much. She was relieved to hear a familiar voice and footsteps approaching the porch.  
  
"Hey stranger."  
  
Rory smiled. "Hey Dean. Congratulations."  
  
"Same to you. I would have come to your graduation the other day, but my mom wasn't too keen on my skipping school."  
  
"Oh it's ok. I was a little heartbroken, but I think I'll eventually learn to forgive you," she joked with him. "Having fun?"  
  
He shrugged. "Kind of. I dunno, keg parties aren't really my thing. You?"  
  
She held up her book. "I got William Faulkner to keep me company, so I'm doing all right."  
  
Sensing that she wasn't eager to get away from him, Dean took a seat on the porch steps, still facing her. "Where's Lane? Didn't you come here with her?"  
  
"She's inside with Dave," Rory answered. "They've been pretty much inseparable since prom." She opened her mouth to ask if he was there with Lindsey, but quickly decided against it. Their new relationships were always a source of awkward tension. Besides, Rory was feeling way too anxious to bring up the subject of Jess just then. Instead, she opted for a much more vague question. "Why aren't you inside with everyone else?"  
  
Dean sighed. "Lindsey's kind of upset with me right now, actually. I figured she'd need time to cool off before I go back and try to apologize."  
  
Rory smiled a little. "Good tactics."  
  
"What can I say? You taught me well," he chuckled. Rory giggled politely, but it wasn't long before both their eyes were directed at the ground, trying not to acknowledge the awkward silence. It seemed like an eternity before Dean finally spoke.  
  
"I have a question for you," he stated.  
  
"Well, ask away," Rory offered.  
  
"It's going to make things really awkward."  
  
"It's probably a little late for that," Rory chuckled.  
  
Dean nodded, smiling. "True. But I mean more awkward."  
  
"I didn't know that was possible," Rory joked.  
  
"Well brace yourself," he said. He took a deep breath before asking meekly, "What's going on with you and Jess?"  
  
Rory sighed. She had sensed that coming. "Well actually," she began, "It's kind of complicated..."  
  
"I figured as much." He paused. "I shouldn't have asked. It's none of my business."  
  
"No, that's ok," Rory assured him. "I mean, we're supposed to be friends, right? And friends should know what's going on in each others lives."  
  
"Exactly," Dean agreed, enthusiastically. "I mean, I heard some stuff around school the past week or so, and it sort of made me worry."  
  
"Really? What did you hear?"  
  
Dean looked at the ground, almost petrified that the rumors he'd heard would be true. "I heard that he got you pregnant, and then he broke up with you, so Luke punched him, and then he skipped town." He looked up at her with a nervous smile. "Please tell me I'm not right?"  
  
Rory laughed a little. "No, no, not really." She sighed, trying to decipher a way to explain the situation to him without telling him about the pregnancy scare. "Well the part about Luke punching him is true. But the rest is a little backwards."  
  
Dean sighed with relief. "So you're not pregnant?"  
  
"Nope. One hundred percent fetus-free."  
  
Dean laughed. "Good."  
  
"I did break up with him last week," she admitted, "But it was just a misunderstanding, so we're actually back together now."  
  
"Then why isn't he here?"  
  
Rory sighed. "He went to New York. Just for a little while; he'll be back in a couple weeks."  
  
"Oh," Dean said, trying to hide his disappointment. But there was no point; it was no secret to either of them that Dean did not like Jess; especially as Rory's boyfriend. He let out a cautious laugh. "See? I told you it was gonna be awkward."  
  
She smiled. "Well hey, at least now you don't think I'm pregnant anymore. I'm thinking that fact could earn this encounter a spot in the 'Success' column."  
  
Dean nodded. "Good thinking." He paused a moment before standing. "I should go. Lindsey's probably wondering when I'm gonna find her and apologize already."  
  
"Good luck with that," Rory offered.  
  
Dean stood and headed for the door, but with his hand on the doorknob, he paused and turned back to her, barely able to look in her eyes.  
  
"You're... happy with him. Right?"  
  
Rory nodded. "Yeah. I am."  
  
He smiled a little, as though finally satisfied. "Good," he said, opening the door and disappearing into the crowd of celebrating teenagers.  
  
Rory headed home soon after that, seeing that Lane was far too engrossed in conversation with Dave to mind her absence much. Of course, as soon as she got home, she checked the messages again, in vain. He still hadn't called. She couldn't help worrying, but she told herself rationally that she had no legitimate reason to worry. With a sigh, she headed to her room and pulled out an old copy of Oliver Twist, the book that reminded her of him the most. She only flipped through it; she'd read it several times. This time she just looked at the notes scribbled in blue ink in the margins. She smiled to herself, noting how messy his handwriting was; and if he'd been anybody else but himself, she would have been angry with him for ruining her beautiful books with his messy disorganized notes. But because it was him, she didn't mind. She even liked it; just like she liked the way he turned her life upside down, and she couldn't get enough of it. Yes, the artful Dodger had driven her to insanity once again, and she loved him all the more for it.  
  
*************************************************  
  
"Oh God," Lorelai said, wrinkling her brow and setting her mug down on the counter. "Luke, this tastes awful."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "What are you talking about? It's the same coffee I serve you everyday. Get a grip."  
  
"No seriously," Lorelai said. "It's weak."  
  
"It is not."  
  
"Little kids could drink 3 or 4 cups of this and then lie down and take a nap, no problem."  
  
"Oh come on."  
  
"This, my friend, is water. It's coffee flavored water."  
  
"I'm ignoring you now."  
  
Lorelai wouldn't let it go at that, though.  
  
"This stuff is weak like a 97 year old woman with two artificial hips."  
  
Luke eyed the childish grin on her face. "You're really enjoying this aren't you?"  
  
"It's what keeps me young, baby," she said, before continuing.  
  
"It's weaker than KIRK."  
  
"I resent that Lorelai," Kirk piped up from his seat in the corner.  
  
"Sorry Kirk. Don't take it personal."  
  
Kirk nodded at her. "I understand. No hard feelings." Kirk's eyes shifted from Lorelai to Luke. "And actually, she's right, Luke. It is a surprisingly weak batch this morning."  
  
"Ha!" Lorelai cried, victorious. "See, I'm not crazy!"  
  
"Kirk agreeing with you doesn't make you sane," Luke argued. "It just means your insanity is finally rubbing off on him."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Gee, you're grumpy this morning. What happened?"  
  
"A crazy lady escaped from the nut house and started criticizing my coffee," he retorted.  
  
"No no, that happens every morning. You're extra, super grumpy today." She paused in contemplation. "Oh don't tell me! You forgot to tape the Star Trek marathon they aired yesterday!"  
  
"Alright, that's it," Luke said, agitated. "Don't make me get the sign."  
  
Lorelai tried not to laugh at his threatening voice. "The sign? What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
Luke sighed, trying to keep his temper. "You think this is funny, don't you?"  
  
"No, no, not at all," Lorelai lied through her teeth. "I'm honestly very intimidated. Really, Luke, don't get the sign. ANYTHING but the sign." Despite her greatest efforts to stay serious, Luke sensed her sarcasm, and it wasn't helping to calm him down.  
  
"Oh just forget it," Luke said, frustrated, avoiding her eyes.  
  
Lorelai tried her best to make up for her comments. "No Luke, really, what is 'the sign'?"  
  
He sighed. "It's one of those ones that says that I reserve the right to refuse service to any customer if I should see fit to do so."  
  
Lorelai's jaw dropped. "You were gonna refuse me service?"  
  
"I was thinking about it, yeah."  
  
"Wow," Lorelai said, awed. "Low blow. What did I ever do to you, Luke?"  
  
He shook his head. "Nothing. Sorry, I'm just a little on edge. I'll make some stronger coffee." Avoiding her eyes, he turned and headed into the backroom for coffee beans. Abandoning her seat, Lorelai followed him into the storage room, concerned. At first she had found his odd behavior amusing, but now she was really beginning to think something was wrong. And she had a hunch as to what the problem was.  
  
"It's Jess isn't it?"  
  
At the sound of her voice, Luke froze. After a moment, he continued getting the coffee beans, as though unaffected by the words. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"He didn't call Rory either," Lorelai said, seeing straight through his act of nonchalance. With a sigh, Luke gave up the façade.  
  
"Well what am I supposed to do now? I mean, something could have happened to him; how would I know?"  
  
"Well here's a solution, Einstein. You could, I dunno, maybe CALL HIM!"  
  
Luke shook his head, obviously finding the idea ludicrous. "Please. He'd think I was worried about him or something."  
  
"You ARE worried about him," Lorelai reminded him. "God, you really still haven't gotten the hang of this legal guardian thing yet, have you?"  
  
Luke ignored the comment. "Why hasn't Rory called him?"  
  
"Oh come on, get serious," Lorelai answered. "He'd think she was worried about him or something."  
  
"But I just said--!!!"  
  
"Luke come on. She's his girlfriend. You're his legal guardian; there are different rules for you. And one of them is that when he says he'll call, and 16 hours later, he hasn't, YOU CALL HIM." Luke didn't answer. "Come on, are you honestly that insecure that you don't want your own nephew to know that you worry about him?"  
  
Luke shook his head. "I just don't want him to feel like I'm breathing down his neck or anything."  
  
"Well considering he's in an entirely different state, it would be pretty difficult to breath down his neck, unless you're like, I dunno, some kind of superhero with super-strong breath... boy, that'd make for an interesting comic book, huh?"  
  
Luke rolled his eyes. "Alright already. I'll call him after the lunch rush is over."  
  
"In two and half hours?"  
  
"It's then or never," he said, picking up another bag of coffee beans and heading back to the front room.  
  
"Fine," Lorelai said. "Be a stubborn ox. But when some nurse from the middle-of-nowhere hospital calls you and tells you he was found in a ditch somewhere by the side of the road, bleeding to death, don't say I didn't warn you!"  
  
***************************************************  
  
I waited till I saw the sun  
  
I don't know why I didn't come  
  
I left you by the house of fun  
  
I don't know why I didn't come  
  
I don't know why I didn't come  
  
When I saw the break of day  
  
I wished that I could fly away  
  
Instead of kneeling in the sand  
  
Catching teardrops in my hand  
  
My heart is drenched in wine  
  
But you'll be on my mind  
  
Forever  
  
Out across the endless sea  
  
I would die in ecstasy  
  
But I'll be a bag of bones  
  
Driving down the road along  
  
My heart is drenched in wine  
  
But you'll be on my mind  
  
Forever  
  
Something has to make you run  
  
I don't know why I didn't come  
  
I feel as empty as a drum  
  
I don't know why I didn't come...  
  
*************************************************  
  
"You can't turn back now," he said to himself quietly.  
  
He was finally there. Across the street from the apartment building he'd spent so much of his adolescence trying to avoid. Inside somewhere, his mother was probably making up his bed, preparing for his arrival. And his father was in there somewhere too. Jess tried to imagine what he would be doing in anticipation of his first meeting with his son. Would he be pacing the front room, anxiously? Wrapping some stupid little present to offer him? Asking Liz what Jess was like?  
  
Jess sighed. Probably not, he thought, trying to be realistic. He was probably annoyed that Jess hadn't shown up last night when he'd said he would. He might have even left already. Jess knew he probably should have called the night before to let them know he was staying at a motel for the night, but he couldn't have brought himself to do it. He couldn't risk calling and having his father answer the phone. He didn't want to hear his father's voice for the first time over a cell phone.  
  
As much as he didn't want to admit it, Jess wished his father were upstairs, pacing, wrapping a stupid present, and asking Liz about his son. He wanted his father to want to know him. He wished his father had spent sleepless nights wondering what Jess looked like; what music he listened to, what books he read, what his friends were like. He hoped that his father regretted not being there to hear his first word or watch him take his first steps. And Jess knew that his father would never live up to Jess' unrealistic expectations. So as long as he could keep from meeting his father, he could keep at least a shred of hope alive.  
  
And THAT is why he dreaded walking across the street to his old home. But thankfully, he was offered a distraction.  
  
"I MUST be hallucinating," a voice said from behind him. Jess turned to see who the voice belonged to, and could hardly believe his eyes.  
  
"Holy shit," Jess remarked with a smile on his face.  
  
"Well if it isn't our very own rebel without a cause," said a petite redhead in combat boots.  
  
"We were beginning to think we'd lost you to that place," added a leather jacket clad boy, whose arm was draped over the shoulders of the girl.  
  
Their names were Nancy and Ben, and they were the best friends Jess had ever known in New York. They were really his kind of people; streetwise smart asses who loved to disrespect authority and cause trouble whenever they could. Of course, they didn't share all of his interests; neither Nancy nor Ben could understand Jess' bizarre infatuation with books. But either way, the three of them had been inseparable until Jess had been sent to Stars Hollow a year and a half ago.  
  
"So how's small town life treatin' ya?" Nancy asked.  
  
"Are they making you milk cows and ride horses bare back yet?" Ben piped in, chuckling.  
  
Jess laughed. "No, actually, they just appointed me the official town shepherd," he joked.  
  
"Shepherd?" Ben asked. "And what exactly does that mean?"  
  
"He herds the shep," Nancy joked.  
  
"The girl knows what she's talking about," Jess said, amused.  
  
"Seriously, man," Ben said, "What brings you to this neck of the woods?"  
  
"I'm just back for a couple weeks," Jess explained. "Gotta visit the parents."  
  
"You don't have summer school?" Nancy asked.  
  
Jess tried not to let his pride show. "Nah, I graduated."  
  
"No shit!" Ben exclaimed.  
  
"We should be so lucky," Nancy commented. "So why are you going back to that Stars Hollow place? Last time you cam back here you said you hated it."  
  
Jess nodded. "Yeah, well. a year ago, I did."  
  
Nancy laughed. "Oh how sweet! The small town life has charmed you. Now you're nothing more than a farm boy at heart."  
  
Ben joined in the mockery. "I bet you just can't bear to be away from those farm animals for too long, can you?"  
  
Jess chuckled a little. "Oh come on, guys, cut it out."  
  
Ben stopped laughing, reading Jess like an open book. "It's a girl, isn't it?"  
  
Jess rolled his eyes. This was much more embarrassment than he was prepared for.  
  
"A girl?" Nancy asked. "Who, a milkmaid?"  
  
"I knew it," Ben said with a smile. "It's a girl. She got to you, and she's keeping you rooted in that place."  
  
"Gimme a break, man," Jess said, not sure how he was supposed to explain Rory to them. But thankfully, they wouldn't force him to.  
  
"You explain later," Ben said. "But now, you should come with us over to Mars Records. They just got a copy of Sandanista on vinyl in mint condition, you gotta see it."  
  
And so the three of them headed away from the apartment building, and Jess was grateful for the escape. He wasn't ready for his dream of his father to die just yet.  
  
****************************************************************  
  
A/N: Sorry that was kind of short and unresolved. End of the year school work is killing me. Updates will start coming more often in a couple weeks, probably. Ok, please review!!!! Hope you like what's coming soon...  
  
~Emaline 


	3. They Say You Can Never Go Home Again

Chapter Two  
  
They Say You Can Never Go Home Again  
  
**************************************  
  
"Rory!!!!!!!!!" Lorelai called, slamming the front door behind her.  
  
"Kitchen!!!" was the muffled reply from the kitchen. Lorelai rushed in to find her daughter sitting at the kitchen table, eating dry Lucky Charms, deeply engrossed in her newly bought copy of The Poisonwood Bible.  
  
"Rory," Lorelai said through gasps of breath, "He's alive!!!"  
  
Rory looked up, confused. "Who? Tupac? I knew it!!"  
  
Lorelai shook her head. "No, honey, your BOYFRIEND. Jess Mariano. Stoic, kind of likes to read, gave you that necklace you're wearing. Ring any bells?"  
  
"Yes I vaguely remember him," Rory said sarcastically. "What's your point?"  
  
"He's alive!" Lorelai said, expecting an ecstatic reaction from her daughter. But Rory blinked at her, expecting some kind of further explanation.  
  
"Come on, Rory, aren't you excited that your boyfriend's alive?"  
  
"Well last time I saw him, he seemed to be living. You know, what with the walking and talking and breathing and such. So I kind of just assumed he still was."  
  
Lorelai sighed and sat at the table with her daughter. "All I meant was that he made contact, so we now know he didn't get killed in a car crash somewhere between here and New York. He actually made it there all in one piece."  
  
Suddenly Rory's eyes became more alert, as she closed her book, seemingly getting interested. "What do you mean he made contact? Did he call someone?"  
  
"Yeah," Lorelai said. "Well actually, Luke called him, not the other way around. But the point is, they actually spoke on the phone for a full 36 seconds." She held up her watch. "I timed it."  
  
Rory's shoulders slumped, and she reopened her book, disappointed. "Oh."  
  
"What's the matter, honey?"  
  
Rory shook her head, playing it off. "Nothing."  
  
Lorelai saw straight through it. "Rory, you shouldn't worry that he hasn't called you. He probably wants to, he just-"  
  
"He just has other stuff on his mind?" Rory finished her mother's sentence.  
  
"I take it I'm not the first person to tell you this, huh?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"Nope. Not the first today. Not the second either. In fact, you're not even the 4th."  
  
Lorelai's jaw dropped. "4 other people said that to you today?"  
  
Rory nodded. "Lane, Babette, Miss Patty, and Kirk."  
  
"Ouch."  
  
Rory nodded in agreement. "Apparently, everyone knows, because they heard you and Luke talking about it at the diner."  
  
"Oh right," Lorelai commented. "Sorry about that, Hon. I didn't mean to talk so loud."  
  
Rory sighed. "It's ok. They could probably tell anyway, since apparently I'm acting totally crazy."  
  
"What? You're not acting crazy," Lorelai tried to comfort her.  
  
"I'm not acting that crazy now," Rory said. "But you should have seen me earlier at Al's pancake world with Lane. She counted, and as it turns out, I took out my cell phone 14 times to make sure I hadn't accidentally turned it off." She took another handful of Lucky Charms. "I have to face it, Mom. I'm impatient, I'm high maintenance, and I'm completely dependent on my boyfriend."  
  
Lorelai chuckled a little. "Honey, that doesn't mean you're crazy. It just means you're really in love, that's all." She sighed. "Trust me, I've been there, and I went through the exact same thing. Except it was the 80's, so there were no cell phones. Instead of checking to see if my cell phone was on, I was running home 3 times a day from friend's houses to check my messages." She smiled. "That's why I always had such great legs."  
  
Rory cracked a smile. "I don't know why I can't just work up the nerve to call him myself. I've tried three times since I got home, but I keep hanging up before I finish dialing."  
  
"I'll bet you a dollar he's been doing the exact same thing all day."  
  
Rory shook her head. "I doubt it. He's meeting his father for the first time. I'm probably the last thing on his mind right now."  
  
Lorelai grinned. "Honey, I think you've pretty much been among the top three things on his mind since the moment he met you."  
  
"You're just saying that to make me feel better," Rory said, but she couldn't hide the smile spreading on her lips.  
  
Lorelai stood. "You should get away from the phone for a bit. Go over to Lane's. Listen to some motivational music."  
  
Rory snickered. "Yeah, we'll crank Independent Women and a bunch of other songs from the Charlie's Angels soundtrack."  
  
"Sounds like fun to me."  
  
Rory stood. "I'll go over to Lane's for a while."  
  
"Good," Lorelai said. "Just don't be out too late."  
  
"I won't." She grabbed one last handful of Lucky Charms before heading out the door.  
  
************************************************  
  
It wasn't the way he remembered it.  
  
Jess always used to think New York was the only place in the world he'd ever feel comfortable in. It was hard, tough, and unforgiving. And he used to really like it. But it all felt different this time.  
  
Of course, he still loved it. He loved the tiny record stores where everyone knew each other and everything was cheap. He loved taking the train wherever he wanted to go. He loved going to the park. He loved being able to walk around late at night and not appear suspicious, or worry about Taylor blaming him for anything and everything that may or may not have happened on a night when he was out.  
  
He supposed he must have been spoiled, though. He got far too used to living in a place where someone usually cared if you were at home or not. He was accustomed to knowing almost everybody he came across during the day. He missed walking around and knowing that everyone he saw knew that he had somebody to call at night when he got home.  
  
It was past 8 PM and he still hadn't been able to force himself back to the dreaded apartment building where his parents had probably already given up on him. He had gone out with Nancy and Ben, and what he had intended to be a short outing turned into a day long affair when the three of them ran into some other kids from their neighborhood. Jess knew most of these kids vaguely. He'd never been too close with them before, but they treated him like they'd been friends with him all along. He ended up going to a boy named Eric's apartment with some other kids. They didn't do anything really. Eric put on an a video of Spinal Tap, and they all passed around microwave popcorn and Dorritos. Essentially, they all wasted time. Ben continued to tease Jess about the small town girl he'd left back home, and Jess would laugh it off every time. But he kept thinking of her. He wanted to call her. He made up his mind that he would as soon as he left Eric's apartment. Just to hear her voice. It might help him work up the courage to finally go back home.  
  
************************************************  
  
"I am freaking out," Rory said, pacing Lane's room.  
  
"I noticed," Lane commented. Rory had come over a few hours ago, but once it got to be past 7 o'clock, Rory was on edge. She was going completely insane with anxiety. She had tried to call Jess again, but couldn't make herself do it.  
  
Now it was past 8, and Rory was really at the end of her rope. She grabbed the portable phone and thrust it at her Lane.  
  
"Call him," Rory commanded.  
  
"Why me?" Lane protested. "He's YOUR boyfriend. YOU'RE the one who wants to talk to him. YOU call him."  
  
"He'll think I'm being high maintenance and needy."  
  
"Well right now, you ARE being high maintenance and needy," Lane replied. Rory ignored her and started dialing his number.  
  
"Just call to ask him a question about school or something," Rory directed her. "Don't mention me, just see if he brings it up."  
  
"Rory, school is over," Lane reminded her.  
  
"Well ask him about something else, it doesn't matter." Rory put the phone to her ear. "It's ringing."  
  
She thrust it at an overwhelmed Lane just as Jess picked up the phone.  
  
"Yeah?" his voice asked, expectantly. Flustered, Lane had to think a few moments before speaking.  
  
"Jess, hi," she said.  
  
"Lane?"  
  
"Yeah," Lane answered. "Yes, this is Lane..."  
  
A painfully long pause followed.  
  
"Did you need something?" Jess asked.  
  
"Oh! Um..." Lane racked her brain for a legitimate reason to have called him, but came up with nothing. "I was just, you know, checking in. Just to say hey, how are you. You know."  
  
Jess tried his hardest not to laugh. "So you called me for small talk?"  
  
"No! No... well, yeah..."  
  
He chuckled. "Put Rory on the phone."  
  
"What?!" Lane's voice nearly cracked; she had tried too hard to sound innocent. "I-well I can't put Rory on the phone, because... she's not here."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"No really. I'm home, in my room, all alone. I'm currently living in a completely Rory-less universe-"  
  
"Tell her to stop pacing and sit down," Jess said.  
  
Lane sighed, defeated. She looked to her friend. "He says to stop pacing and sit down."  
  
Rory froze in her pacing tracks and slowly sat on the bed beside Lane. "Wow..." she said.  
  
"I know," Lane agreed. "Maybe he's psychic! But not in a creepy, John Edwards kind of way, cuz Ew..."  
  
Reluctantly Rory took the phone. "Hello?"  
  
"Nice cover," Jess joked. "Almost had me fooled."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Rory tried to play dumb. "Cover for what?"  
  
He didn't bother playing along with her innocent act. "You could have just called yourself, you know."  
  
Rory crossed her arms. "I could say the same thing to you."  
  
"What, are you mad that I didn't call you last night?"  
  
"No," Rory answered. "I wouldn't say 'Mad', really. Mad is such a strong word. More like... slightly disappointed."  
  
Jess sighed. "I tried to call, I got the machine."  
  
"Well see, there's this crazy thing about answering machines," she retorted. "You can leave messages on them."  
  
"You don't say."  
  
Rory sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm being a little crazy."  
  
"You've been living with Lorelai too long," he said.  
  
Rory heard voices laughing in the background on his end of the line. "Sounds like you're having a good time."  
  
"We're watching Spinal Tap," he explained. "We're at the part with Stone henge."  
  
"I love that part," Rory said, before adding in attempted subtlety, "Who's 'We'?"  
  
"Just some old friends of mine," he said, heading to the door to get some privacy in the hall. He could see Ben eyeing him suspiciously, obviously thinking he was talking to his girlfriend.  
  
"I see," Rory said. "So... I'm guessing you haven't talked to your father yet, huh?"  
  
"How'd you guess?"  
  
"Just perceptive I guess," she said. "Are you having second thoughts?"  
  
"No," he said, lying through his teeth. "I'm going over there tonight."  
  
"Oh," Rory said, trying to hide her disappointment. "Good. That's good..."  
  
He didn't say anything.  
  
"Well, will you call me after you meet him?" she asked. "Let me know how it goes?"  
  
He smiled a little. He could tell how worried she was by the tone of her voice. She was trying far too hard to sound perky. "Yeah, I'll call you first thing." He paused a moment, before adding, "Don't worry. 2 weeks tops, and I'll be back."  
  
Rory cracked a smile. "Really?"  
  
"That's what I promised you, isn't it?"  
  
She sighed, relieved. "Yeah, I know...." She paused. "I should go. Good luck with your father."  
  
"Thanks," he said, not quite ready to hang up, but not knowing what else there was to say. "Bye, Rory."  
  
"Bye."  
  
She hung up slowly, trying to put on her best smile for Lane. She'd spoken to him. She'd done what she'd been anxious to do for two days. That should have done the trick, shouldn't it?  
  
But she felt like something was wrong. He hadn't sounded angry on the phone, but she could tell over the phone that something was wrong. She didn't get the feeling that there was a problem between the two of them, but... there was something going on with him. He just didn't know how to say it.  
  
***************************************************  
  
But now the time is gonna come  
  
And there's no feeling lost  
  
For everyone who could've loved  
  
And made me not to love  
  
And all the time  
  
I thought your words were mine  
  
You held me down  
  
As sure as the sun  
  
You held me down  
  
As sure as the sun  
  
Now I could see into your eyes  
  
But there's no compromise  
  
For anyone you coulda saved  
  
But never recognized  
  
And now your worries gonna fall  
  
But I won't help at all  
  
For everyone who sees the place  
  
Who knows they can't belong  
  
And all the time  
  
I thought your words were mine  
  
You held me down  
  
As sure as the sun  
  
You held me down  
  
As sure as the sun  
  
You've taken away  
  
Much more than you gave  
  
What keeps me down  
  
I'm lost in a rage  
  
No one can explain  
  
What keeps me down...  
  
***************************************************  
  
Jess didn't return to his old building until after 9 o'clock that night. When he got there, he was too tired to talk himself out of it. He just wanted to go and get it over with. There was no place left to go, and nothing else left to do.  
  
He didn't ring the bell to get them to open the door for him. He slipped through as another resident left the building, and headed up the all too familiar stairs to the 4th floor. When he reached the door to his mother's apartment, he felt his heart start beating rapidly. He was about to do the one thing he'd feared and desired his entire life. Tentatively, he raised his hand and knocked on the door.  
  
He waited a minute; no answer.  
  
So he knocked again.  
  
And again.  
  
When there was still no answer, he bent down to retrieve the key he knew was hidden under the doormat. He let himself in, somewhat relieved to know the reunion would be postponed.  
  
It was dark and empty. The furthest thing from a home he could imagine. His mother had obviously cleaned in anticipation of his arrival, but the cleaning left the room looking bare. The smell of cigarettes lingered on all the furniture near the window, where he knew his mother liked to smoke, and all the familiar stains on the carpet were still there, just like he'd remembered them. He walked over to the television and placed his hand on it. It was still warm; she hadn't left long ago. Which meant it would be a while before she returned.  
  
Jess carried his bag to his old room, and was relieved to open the door and find it looking exactly the way it had when he'd left last summer to return to Stars Hollow. His bed was still unmade, and books, cds, and clothes he'd decided not to bring with him were still scattered around the room. He sighed with a smirk; the last time he'd been there had been the same day Rory had first kissed him at that wedding...  
  
Of course that one kiss was followed by months of waiting, and after that, months of arguing with the only person he never wanted to argue with. But it had been worth it in the end. The best decision he'd ever made in his life was to return to Stars Hollow.  
  
And now he'd left it again.  
  
"Nice going, Jess," he said to himself softly with sarcasm.  
  
He heard keys jingling outside the door to the apartment. She was home. He didn't know what to do at first, so he froze, facing the ajar door to his room in anticipation.  
  
"Damn it," he heard her say, dropping something heavy on the kitchen counter. It sounded like she'd bought groceries. Her voice was raspy from years and years of smoking, as well as a remarkable amount of yelling and screaming fights. It echoed in the nearly empty room. He heard her slam the door closed, and begin to put away the groceries she'd bought. He knew he couldn't just stand there. His numb legs carried him silently out of his bedroom and around the corner to the small kitchen.  
  
She stopped in her tracks, seeing him there. Her eyes bore deep into his, as though she were trying to make sure he was really there and she wasn't imagining things. He didn't say a word to explain himself; neither one of them smiled or greeted each other. The silence seemed to last forever before Liz finally broke eye contact and opened the refrigerator to put away the milk.  
  
"Well look who finally decided to show up," she said, with an element of bitterness in her tone.  
  
Jess rolled his eyes. "Good to see you too, Liz."  
  
She sighed, still unpacking the groceries, barely able to look him in the eye anymore. "Would you cut that out? I'm your mother, you're not supposed to call me by my first name."  
  
"I'm sorry, mother dearest," he said sharply. "I'll never do it again, cross my heart and hope to die."  
  
She slammed the cabinet shut hard with frustration, to keep from yelling, but still avoided looking at him. "How'd you get in? Did you climb the fire escape an climb in through a window or something?"  
  
"There's a key under the doormat," he replied. "I don't have amnesia, I do remember most of this stuff."  
  
"But I guess you can't seem to remember to pick up a phone once in a while, huh?" She cried, finally leaving the groceries alone and facing him, with fury in her eyes.  
  
"You're lucky I showed up at all," Jess retorted. "I didn't even want to come back here in the first place."  
  
"Why the hell not? I mean, what the hell's so great about that Stars Crossing place, anyway?"  
  
"Stars Hollow," he corrected her, annoyed that his own mother couldn't seem to remember where he'd been living for two years. "And it's a hell of a lot better that this place, since you asked."  
  
"What kept you so long?" She asked, changing the subject. "We thought you were supposed to come yesterday night. We waited for hours."  
  
"Well gee, I'm sorry I couldn't just pick up and skip town right after I graduated. I actually have a life back in that place, I had some loose ends to tie up." He paused. "Yeah, and that reminds me, thanks a bunch for coming to my graduation," he added with a fake smile. "It really meant a lot."  
  
She sighed. "I tried to make it, Jess, I really did. But I had to work that day-"  
  
"No of course, I understand," he said sarcastically. "If TGI Friday's was understaffed one day, the whole city might just shut down. They would have been lost without your impeccable waitressing talents."  
  
She sighed. "It wasn't like Luke really gave me notice ahead of time. He called me two days beforehand. I couldn't just cancel everything." She paused a minute, waiting for him to look up from the floor, but he didn't. "I got you a graduation present though. I mean, it's nothing big, but... I figured I owed you that much." She started towards her bedroom. "I can go wrap it real quick now, if you want-"  
  
"I didn't come back here for a graduation present," he said pointedly, stopping her in her tracks. He looked at her, and she knew immediately what he meant. He'd come for one, and only one reason.  
  
She sat awkwardly on the arm of the couch with a sigh. "He's not staying here anymore," she explained. "He figured you weren't gonna show, so he got himself a room at some hotel near Times Square... he and I weren't exactly getting along great."  
  
"Imagine that," Jess commented. His mother had never really forgiven Jess' father for leaving them. Why should she have? He left without a word the same day Jess was born. He sent checks to them every few months, but Liz usually left them unopened, or ripped them up unless she really needed the money.  
  
"He gave me the hotel's address and his room number. And he left his cell phone number too." She shuffled through some papers on the counter before handing him a crumpled scrap with some information scribbled down. "He said he would stay in town a few more days, and if you didn't show up by then, he would catch the next plane back to Venice Beach."  
  
Jess nodded, studying the scrap of paper. It wasn't his mother's handwriting; it was bold and dark. He knew his father had written it down. He felt stupid realizing it, but the mere sight of his father's handwriting made his stomach jump. "Thanks," he forced out.  
  
"You don't have to go see him if you don't wanna," Liz said, in a voice that was as close to comforting as he'd ever heard from her. "There are plenty of kids who get along fine without knowing their parents."  
  
"Yeah," he said, "Whatever." Folding the piece of paper and stuffing it in his pocket, he headed to the front door.  
  
"Are you going to see him now?" Liz called after him, obviously worried.  
  
"No," he called back, not turning back to her. "I'm just going out for a walk. I'll be back."  
  
"When?"  
  
"Later," he said, slamming the door behind him.  
  
It seemed to take forever to get down the stairs, outside the building, and to the alley behind it. When he finally reached the alley, his pent up rage was too much to conceal. He took it out on some empty trash cans, violently kicking them over and over again, scaring away the stray cats that inhabited the alley.  
  
After a few minutes, he ran out of energy, and let himself collapse on the nearby steps of a fire escape. He was losing it; he had to get this over with. He got out the address of the hotel, and headed down to Times Square. He didn't care if it was late. He was going over there, and he was going now.  
  
***************************************************  
  
A/N: SO yeah....I know this seems hopeless right now, but the next chapter is better. Happy stuff happens. And that's when the Java Junkie stuff really starts picking up. SO have no fear, you will have a happy ending, I rpomise!!! Ok please review!!!!! It gives me incentive to get the next chapter up quicker!!!!! 


	4. Hope You Brought a Toothbrush

Chapter Three  
  
Hope you brought a toothbrush  
  
***************************************  
  
"Damn it, Michel, just try the frosting!!!"  
  
Lorelai smiled, hearing Sookie calling after Michel as he left the kitchen in a hurry.  
  
"You ought to pay me more to work with her," he said to Lorelai, resuming his position at the front desk.  
  
"Why?" Lorelai asked. "You're annoyed that she asked you to try some of her amazing buttercream frosting? Most people would pay ME to have a job like that."  
  
Michel sighed. "Well most people are also fat."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "I would scold you for that extremely insensitive comment, but I'm not going to, because I finally understand the source of your bitterness."  
  
"Really? Enlighten me then."  
  
Lorelai grinned. "You're just pissy all the time because you never eat ice cream, which lord knows, is the answer to all of life's troubles." Michel rolled his eyes, but Lorelai continued. "I mean honestly, I'd be bitter too, if I never ate junk food. I mean, especially working here, what with Sookie making cookies and cakes all kinds of stuff that's just SWIMMING in sugar. I mean, strawberry short cake, baked Alaska, lemon meringue pies, double chocolate cookies, raspberry glaze on cheescakes, vanilla-"  
  
"In case you hadn't noticed, I am ignoring you now."  
  
"Party Pooper," Lorelai said. "I was just about to get to all the good desserts." She sighed and left him to go find Sookie in the kitchen.  
  
"Hey, I'll try the frosting if Michel's too much of a tight-ass to do it himself!" Lorelai volunteered, sitting at the counter as Sookie worked. "You can always count on me to rise to the occasion."  
  
Sookie grinned, handing Lorelai a spoon. "Here you go. I bet you'll love it, it's chocolate buttercream with extra chocolate."  
  
"Hey," Lorelai said, taking the spoon greedily, "Anything with the words butter, cream, and extra chocolate in it is ok in my book. Hand it over." Lorelai tasted it greedily, obviously enjoying every second of it. "Ugh. I'm in heaven. Sookie, you're a goddess."  
  
"Thank you," Sookie said with a giggle.  
  
"Seriously," Lorelai continued. "This frosting could coax Luke back to the Dark side. He'd be a sugar addict for the rest of his life after tasting this; it's just THAT good."  
  
Sookie smirked. "Speaking of Luke Danes," she said, eager for gossip, "What's going on with you two lately? Last I heard, you were planning to have a date."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Well, we were... and then all this stuff with Jess happened, and he's been acting weird, like it never even happened."  
  
"Well did you try to bring it up?"  
  
Lorelai nodded. "We talked about it once, after everything with Jess and Rory was resolved. But it just turned into a big joke, just like it always does with us." She sighed. "I dunno, maybe we were all wrong, and he really doesn't think of me as anything more than the crazy sugar-craving lady who drinks all his coffee and keeps him company at the counter when he's desperate for conversation."  
  
Sookie laughed. "Ha! Yeah right."  
  
"I'm serious," Lorelai insisted. "I'm not feeling the vibe anymore like I was before. Maybe I was just going through a temporary insanity."  
  
"Lorelai, if I were you, I wouldn't trust myself to pick up on Luke's real feelings. He's been in love with you for years, and you only just figured it out a couple weeks ago. You don't have a great track record, in terms of reading his signals correctly."  
  
Lorelai wrinkled her nose. "Don't say stuff like that."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"'He's been in LOVE with you for years.' It freaks me out."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know. I mean the word 'love'. It's such a big deal, you know? I can accept that Luke may have had a little bit of a crush on me for a while, but... it's just too weird to think he's been in LOVE with me."  
  
Sookie rolled her eyes. "Lorelai, you're 35. I think it's time you got over that whole 'like, not love' thing."  
  
Lorelai chuckled. "Ha. You say that as though you think I'm emotionally mature, when we both know that in reality, I have the mind of a 14 year old."  
  
Sookie ignored her excuses. "He's probably just a little weirded out by this whole Jess thing. I bet he still really wants to go out with you, he's just too distracted to do it right now."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "So what are you suggesting? That we schedule a date for sometime after Jess gets back from New York or something."  
  
"You don't have to schedule anything," Sookie said. "Just make sure he knows you're still interested so that he doesn't give up hope."  
  
"And how exactly am I supposed to do that?"  
  
Sookie rolled her eyes. "You know how, Lorelai, you've done it a million times. You put on some floral perfume and a cute skirt-"  
  
"Oh yeah, you gotta show some thigh."  
  
"-and a cute shirt-"  
  
"Cleavage gets their attention every time."  
  
"-and you spend ten extra minutes fixing your hair so it's perfect and shiny-"  
  
"And in perfect condition for both flipping AND twirling in my fingers."  
  
"-And you flirt with him so he KNOWS you like him. Just like you did with Alex."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "That was different. Alex and I had stuff in common to make small talk about, like... coffee, and running businesses..."  
  
"Luke runs a business," Sookie said. "And he makes a good 80 percent of the coffee you drink."  
  
"Yeah, but Alex and I AGREED about that stuff. Luke and I just argue about it."  
  
Sookie sighed, frustrated. "Lorelai, this isn't that hard. All you have to do is say something nice to him."  
  
"Like what? Nice baseball cap, it makes you look just dreamy?"  
  
"I refuse to dictate this to you," Sookie insisted. "You'll just have to figure out how to flirt with Luke on your own." She whisked away the bowl of frosting from a frowning Lorelai to continue her work.  
  
Lorelai crossed her arms and pouted. "Fine. But I won't ask him out myself! I draw the line at asking men out! I REFUSE to wear the pants in this relationship."  
  
Sookie smirked. "That's fine. I'm sure Luke wouldn't mind your decision not to wear pants."  
  
Lorelai rolled her eyes, standing up. "Hey! Get your mind out of the gutter, lady, this is a professional environment."  
  
"Says the lady eating frosting out of a bowl with a baby spoon," Sookie teased.  
  
Lorelai took another spoonful of frosting. "I'm the boss, I can eat frosting however I want." She headed out the door to go back to the front desk.  
  
"Yeah, like off of Luke's fingers?"  
  
Lorelai plugged her ears, walking away. "LALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!"  
  
Sookie chuckled to herself as Lorelai left. It was gonna take a miracle to get those two together.  
  
***************************************************  
  
Rory sat nervously in Taylor's soda Shoppe with Lane, Dave, Zak and Brian. The four band mates had decided to take a break from practicing in Rory's garage to have some root beer floats and discuss which song by Echo and the Bunnymen they most wanted to do a cover of. Rory had tagged along; she had grown to be pretty good friends with all of Lane's band mates since they'd started rehearsing in her garage. She liked hanging out with them after rehearsals.  
  
But today, she couldn't seem to focus on the conversation at their table. Her mind kept wandering to the cryptic, vague message she'd found on her message machine when she'd come home from breakfast at Al's pancake world.  
  
"Hey," he'd said, sounding strange. Dejected, almost. "I told you I'd call when something happened, so... here it is." Jess paused for a long time after saying this. "Just... I'll call you later. Bye."  
  
She'd tried to call him immediately, but he didn't answer. She must have tried to call him 30-something times. No answer. And no matter how many reasons Lane gave her not to get too worked up about it, she was worried. So worried, she couldn't concentrate on anything else. What had he meant? He seemed to be implying that something had happened, something important. Was it something good or bad? His tone of voice made it seem bad. But then again, she could have just been imagining that.  
  
"Whoa, Rory, are you alright?" Dave's voice shocked her back into reality.  
  
"What?" she said, caught off guard, but she recovered quickly. "Oh, I'm fine."  
  
He looked skeptic. "Are you sure?" he asked. "Cuz... I don't mean to doubt you, but... I've never seen anyone's leg jitter quite so violently in my entire life."  
  
Rory looked down, embarrassed, and suddenly conscious of her shaking leg. She giggled a little. "It must be all the sugar."  
  
"Oh," Zak nodded, "What a drag."  
  
Lane rolled her eyes as an oblivious Zak continued eating the candy he'd bought and rambling about how much easier it would be to just perform 2 songs by Echo and the Bunnymen.  
  
"Are you alright?" She mouthed silently to Rory across the table. Rory nodded, even though they both knew it wasn't true. Impulsively, Rory stood.  
  
"I'm gonna go over to Luke's," she announced. "To get some real food."  
  
"Hey, while you're over there, could you get me some fries?" Zak asked, getting out his wallet to give Rory some money.  
  
"No she can't Zak," Dave replied for her. He had enough sense to see that something was up with Rory, most likely something having to do with Jess. So he tried to shield her from Zak's occasional insensitive stupidity as well as he could.  
  
Rory flashed Dave a grateful smile as she headed out of Taylor's Shop. She was so glad he had found Lane. He was such a great guy. They really deserved each other.  
  
Rory had to use decorum to keep from running into Luke's. As soon as she got inside, she felt all eyes on her. What with all the chaos and drama between herself and Jess lately, her presence in the diner was being very closely observed. But she avoided everybody's eyes, and headed straight for Luke at the counter.  
  
He smiled awkwardly as she approached him. He still hadn't really gotten over the idea of her and Jess having sex... he felt as though he should be held responsible. He had been in charge of Jess; he could have prevented it.  
  
But on the other hand... she and Jess did seem really happy together. Maybe it was for the best that all this had happened.  
  
"Hey Rory," he said, a little too kindly. He wasn't too good at disguising his awkward feelings.  
  
She smiled a little. "Hey Luke," she said. "Can I ask you for a favor?"  
  
"Anything."  
  
She avoided his eyes. She couldn't lie while looking into people's eyes. "There's this book up in Jess' room that I meant to borrow before he left, but um... I guess I just forgot it, in all the chaos, so I was wondering if I could run up there and look for it?"  
  
Luke eyed her suspiciously. He always got the feeling he was lying to her when she wanted to go up there, whether it was to see Jess or not. But he said, "Sure," anyway. Jess wasn't even in town. What harm could it do?  
  
Thankful, Rory dashed up the stairs and into their apartment. But instead of going to Jess' room, she went straight to the phone. Luckily she found exactly what she'd hoped to find there. Eagerly, she flipped through the pages. M... Mariano. She found what she needed, and quickly copied the information down on the back of a random receipt she'd found in her pocket.  
  
Satisfied that she'd made her first step in the right direction, she was about to turn to the door and leave. But of course, she realized Luke would be suspicious if she returned without a book. So she went into Jess' room to grab a random book off the shelf.  
  
Of course, once she went in and closed the door behind her, she lost sight of the task at hand. It was so strange; she'd been in his room so many times. But always with him in it. It looked strange and bare without him, and with some of his clothes and books gone. And when her eyes settled on his bedside table, she couldn't resist the temptation. Quietly, she sat on the side of the bed and opened the drawer.  
  
Her heart nearly melted at what she saw. A pile of photos, not very cleverly hidden underneath an old book. And every single one was of Rory, or Rory and Jess together. Every one had little fingerprints all along the edges... they'd obviously been admired several times.  
  
It shouldn't have been so surprising. Most boys in long term relationships would be expected to have pictures of their girlfriends in their rooms. But for some reason, this tiny discovery left Rory with no doubt that he loved her, and no doubt about what she wanted to do.  
  
Stopping quickly at the Soda Shoppe to tell Lane where she was headed, Rory went straight back to her house. Determined, she went straight to her bedroom, barely even noticing her mother, stretched out on the couch watching the VH1 true Hollywood story of Aerosmith.  
  
"Hey honey!" Lorelai called through a mouthful of popcorn. "You gotta come see this! Steven Tyler is shamelessly exploiting his daughter in a music video with the girl from Clueless! It's great, come quick!!!"  
  
Rory walked out from her room, her heart beating a mile a minute. Lorelai turned to see her, sensing that something was off. Rory tried her hardest to seem sure of herself; but she knew she needed Lorelai's support now.  
  
"What's wrong?" Lorelai asked, concerned.  
  
"Mom," Rory said with a sigh, "I need your help."  
  
*****************************************************  
  
He felt like a complete idiot.  
  
He'd been so determined the night before. He'd torn the alley apart, and finally resolved to go to the hotel, and go meet his father.  
  
And he'd gone to the hotel. But as he reached the lobby, he suddenly felt so intimidated, he almost turned back. His father was staying at the Paramount Hotel. Jess had expected the Paramount to be some tacky, low quality hotel using the good name of Paramount Pictures to attract stupid, vulnerable tourists. But it wasn't. It was ritzy, and artsy, and apparently very expensive. Jess hadn't expected his father to have any money whatsoever.  
  
Getting over the initial intimidation, however, Jess headed up the 3rd floor, and began looking for room 312. It was easy to find; he got there almost immediately. But then came the hard part. It took him several minutes to work up the courage to finally knock.  
  
Of course once he did, no one answered. 'Figures,' he thought to himself. Just when he'd gotten himself worked up, he got let down. His whole life had a tendency to be that way.  
  
Dejected, he headed back down to the lobby, and impulsively to the small, dark bar for the hotel guests. He went straight to the bar and asked the bartender for a beer. He had no desire to get drunk... but he needed to calm his nerves. Just this once, a beer wouldn't really hurt.  
  
The bartender didn't bother to card him; in places like this, all one had to do was be confident, and no one would ever question you. Jess had learned this early on in life.  
  
Just as Jess was about to pour his drink into the provided glass, something caught his ear. At the other end of the bar, and man was sitting down, greeting the bartender by name.  
  
"Hey Rick, can I get a beer?"  
  
The bartender smiled as he responded, "Coming right up, Jimmy."  
  
Thinking back on it, Jess wasn't sure why this had caught his attention. There were a million men in the world named Jimmy. The chances that this particular one happened to be Jimmy Mariano were slim to none.  
  
But when Jess looked at him, there was no question in his mind. He had the same wavy dark hair, the same blunt chin, the same piercing eyes. The man at the other end of the bar was his father; he had to be.  
  
Jess could do nothing but stare for a few moments, but as soon as he regained his senses, all he could think to do was pay for his drink and get out as quickly as possible. So he did.  
  
He finally had the chance to meet his father, and he'd run away.  
  
'What a wimp,' he'd thought to himself, lying awake in bed most of the night.  
  
The next morning, he couldn't concentrate on anything. His mother stayed in the house during the day and was gone working most of the night, so Jess planned to stay out of the house all day and come back at night. He and his mother weren't getting along all that well.  
  
As soon as he got outside, he found a payphone and tried to call Rory. It was pretty early in the morning, so as he expected, no one answered the phone; they were probably asleep, or at Luke's getting coffee to wake themselves up. He left a message, not really sure what else he could do. And after that, he'd spent the day wandering the streets of New York, avoiding Times Square as much as possible. He had nothing to do but walk around, avoiding the one problem he had never been able to face.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Then she appeared  
  
Apple Venus on a half open shell  
Then she appeared  
  
The first photograph on Fox Talbots gel  
I was a little frightened  
Flying with my senses heightened  
Cherubim cheered  
Then she appeared  
Then she appeared, as the giggling crew of Marie Celeste  
Then she appeared, pale Atlantis rising out of the west  
I was a little dazzled  
Catherine wheeled and senses frazzled  
Know it sounds weird  
Then she appeared  
And the sun which formerly shone  
In the clearest summer sky  
Suddenly just changed address  
Now shines from her blue eyes  
Then she appeared, brittle shooting star that dropped in my lap  
Then she appeared, dressed in tricolour and phrygian cap  
I was a little troubled  
Hookah with my senses bubbled  
All Edward leared  
Then she appeared  
And the moon which formerly shone  
On the marbled midnight mile  
Suddenly just packed its bags  
Now shines from her bright smile  
Then she appeared  
Out of nowhere  
  
*************************************************  
  
Rory knocked tentatively on the paint chipped door, trying to decide how she would explain herself. It was past 10 o'clock; she'd been running full steam ahead for hours, and she hadn't realized until just then that maybe this wasn't the best idea. So she racked her brain, preparing a little bit of a speech to justify her presence.  
  
But the moment the door swung open and she saw his eyes, she couldn't remember a single word she'd planned to say. His eyes were wide; she was obviously the last person he'd expected to find at his door. At first, he looked worried and upset, obviously thinking she'd come to deliver bad news.  
  
She let out a small nervous laugh. "Hey," she said. "... I have absolutely no idea why I'm here..."  
  
The concerned look in Jess' eyes softened. He was more relieved to see her then than he'd ever been in his life. He smiled a little.  
  
"Hey," he said. "Does Lorelai know you're here?"  
  
Rory nodded. "Yeah... I'm not sure how she feels about it, but... hey, she voluntarily went to the garage to find a duffel bag for me, so... that's a good sign, right? Doesn't it seem pretty supportive?"  
  
He didn't answer. He glanced at the stuffed full duffel bag she held in her hand with a sly smile. "You planning to stay?"  
  
She sighed. "I don't know. I just jumped on a bus, and here I am." She took a deep breath and laughed at herself a little. "I obviously didn't spend a great deal of time thinking this over..."  
  
He paused. "Do you WANT to stay?"  
  
"Do you want me to?" Rory asked, avoiding telling him that she wanted desperately to stay there.  
  
He paused a moment. He wanted to be able to say no. He didn't know how he would deal with introducing her to his friends, or to his mother... he'd never intended for Rory to see this part of his life. She wasn't cut out for the ugly truths of New York City. Sure, it was fun that day last year when she'd skipped school to visit him for the day. But living there for a while? Was she ready to deal with that?  
  
Still, just seeing her there, hearing her voice, being able to reach out and touch her... he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he needed her there. So he reached for her hand and took her bag.  
  
"Come on," he said. "I hope you brought your tooth brush." He smirked, turning and heading inside, leaving the door open behind him.  
  
Rory grinned to herself before following him inside. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he wasn't just being polite; he really did want her there. And she was more than happy to oblige.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
A/N: Ok so there it was. I know I promised some Luke/Lorelai action this chapter, but it took longer than I had planned to get to this point. The good Luke/Lorelai stuff comes next chapter, I swear!!!! Cross my heart and hope die, really. And now that I've finally got our favorite couple in the same CITY together, this is gonna be a lot easier to write. It's about to get really interesting, you guys. So keep reading!!!! And Keep reviewing because it puts me in a good mood when I read reviews!!!! And just for future reference, I DON'T CARE if there are issues with the lyrics of the songs I put in my stories. I didn't even write the songs, so it doesn't matter much to me if I got some of the words wrong or something... I just want reviews so I can know what you guys are hoping will happen, or won't happen in some cases. Give me advice, I'll probably use it!!!!  
  
Next chapter comes soon, and it will be juicy, I swear.  
  
~Emaline 


	5. Feels Like Home to Me

Chapter Four  
  
Feels like Home to Me  
  
********************************************  
  
Moving, just keep moving,  
  
'Til I don't know what I'm saying,  
  
I've been moving so long,  
  
The days all feel the same, Moving, just keep moving,  
  
Well I don't know why to stay,  
  
No ties to bind me,  
  
No reasons to remain, Got a low, low feeling around me,  
  
And a stone cold feeling inside,  
  
And I just can't stop messing my mind up,  
  
Or wasting my time, There's a mow, low feeling around me,  
  
And a stone cold feeling inside,  
  
I've got to find somebody to help me,  
  
I'll keep you in mind, So I'll keep moving, just keep moving,  
  
Well I don't know who I am,  
  
No need to follow,  
  
There's no way back again, Moving, keep on moving,  
  
Where I feel I'm home again,  
  
And when it's over,  
  
I'll see you again, Got a low, low feeling around me,  
  
And a stone cold feeling inside,  
  
And I just can't stop messing my mind up,  
  
Or wasting my time..... ******************************************************  
  
Had that really just happened?  
  
Lorelai stood in the doorway to her daughter's room, observing the disarray in awe. Clothes had been flung all over the room, books were all over the bed, stuff was everywhere. She had done an extremely quick spur of the moment packing job... with Lorelai's help.  
  
Lorelai couldn't really believe she had actually helped her daughter pack to run away to New York City to see her boyfriend. Even though she tried to be supportive of Jess and Rory's relationship, Lorelai was not Jess' biggest fan at that point in time, no matter how hard she tried to like him again. Now that Rory was gone, Lorelai was suddenly coming up with a million reasons why Rory shouldn't have left.  
  
But it was too late. The duffel bag had been filled, and Rory had run off to the bus station. Just like that.  
  
What was Lorelai supposed to have done, though? Rory had looked so desperate when she asked for her mother's help. Lorelai understood that something bad was going on with Jess, and she figured Rory's presence would probably be the best thing to sooth his pain. So how was she supposed to tell Rory not to go?  
  
But Jess didn't know Rory was coming. He wasn't planning to meet Rory at the bus station; Rory was on her own the minute she stepped off the bus. And Lorelai knew it would be late, and dark, and crowded. What if something happened to her?  
  
The worry was way too much to handle alone. Lorelai closed Rory's door, and went outside, anxious to get to the center of town. There was nothing else she could do.  
  
***************************************************************  
  
Inside, Rory found Jess' apartment to be small and pretty bare. There was a couch, and a small TV in front of it. A few kitchen appliances. A couple bare wooden chairs. And two doors which she assumed led to Jess' room and his mother's.  
  
"Nice place," she remarked. "It's... homey."  
  
Jess snickered. "Yeah right." His eyes fell upon the kitchen cabinets. "You hungry?"  
  
She shook her head. "Not really."  
  
Jess' eyes widened as he joked, "I think that's a first for you."  
  
She let out a giggle. "I don't know, I guess the nervousness still hasn't worn off yet..."  
  
"You were nervous?" he asked, as though he didn't know why she would be. But of course he did.  
  
"Yeah," she admitted. She lowered her eyes to the ground. "This wasn't exactly what I was expecting to find up here..."  
  
"What WERE you expecting?"  
  
She shrugged. "I don't know. For one thing, you're mother. And for another thing, your Father."  
  
Jess looked at the ground. "They're not here."  
  
Rory nodded. "Well that explains my not seeing them, doesn't it?" He didn't answer her. She tried again. "Where are they?"  
  
"Liz works nights. She's a cocktail waitress at some scummy bar in town, I don't really know where..." he trailed off.  
  
"You didn't meet him yet, did you?"  
  
He nodded with a little smile. "The oracle nails it again, ladies and gentlemen."  
  
She smirked a little. "I just figured you'd mention it if you'd met him-"  
  
"I saw him last night."  
  
Rory froze, confused. "I thought you said you hadn't met-"  
  
"We didn't," Jess said. "But I saw him at his hotel."  
  
"Oh..." Rory paused. She didn't really know what to say.  
  
"I went there to see him, but I guess..." Jess shook his head, amused by his own behavior. "I guess I just chickened out. So I went to the bar next door, and... I saw him there."  
  
"Did he see you?" Rory asked gently, not wanting to force the conversation.  
  
Jess shook his head. "He doesn't even think I'm in town. He probably thinks I'm blowing him off."  
  
Rory sighed. "That must have been pretty weird, huh?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, you could say that."  
  
After a long pause, Rory took a tentative few steps toward him. "Do you... wanna talk about it?"  
  
He shook his head. "Nah. There's not really that much to say." Suddenly seeming upbeat, he grabbed his wallet off the counter and put it in the pocket of his jeans. "Come on, let's get out of here." Placing a strong hand on the small of Rory's back to steer her toward the door.  
  
"Where are we going?" She asked, confused.  
  
"Out," he answered.  
  
"Gee, what a specific and well thought out plan," she remarked sarcastically.  
  
He closed the apartment door and started locking it with a sly smile. "You came all the way to New York to see me, and I'm going to show you a good time."  
  
"But what about you're mom? I mean, it's late already-"  
  
"Please. This is New York. Most people are just waking up about now." He stuffed the key in his pocket and steered her toward the stairwell again. "Besides, Liz won't be home till 2 AM or so. We've got nothing to worry about."  
  
Rory grinned to herself. This was better than she ever could have imagined. There was something amazing about being in a strange city alone, with Jess as her only guide. She wasn't used to having the freedom to go out wandering at 10 PM; but she liked the feeling she was getting now. It was like butterflies in her stomach-but good ones. The same butterflies she got the first time she kissed Jess...  
  
As they walked through the streets of the city, Rory was amazed by all the things they saw, and Jess found her astonishment rather amusing. On the way to their destination, they stopped at a little café to get Rory a much needed cup of coffee. After the coffee, Rory felt much more relaxed and in control... although she didn't think she could credit only the coffee for that. Jess' behavior was comforting. She had expected to find him a wreck; instead, she found him to be just the same guy he was when she'd seen him last. Everything was comfortable again. They walked together, talking about nothing of substance, and enjoying every moment of it.  
  
Finally, after a long walk, Jess stopped on the sidewalk.  
  
"We're here," he said. Rory looked around, confused by what she saw. "A mini-mart?" she asked.  
  
Jess shook his head with a smirk. "Follow me," was all he said. He walked down a long flight of stairs that finally led to an underground shop. As soon as Rory got inside, her jaw dropped.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Impressed?" Jess asked, even though he knew the answer already.  
  
Rory nodded. "I have never seen so many books in one place since I went to the Harvard Library." She wandered to the nearest self and began leafing through the books.  
  
But Jess stopped her. "No, you probably have most of those already. You gotta go in the back, though, you'll love it."  
  
Rory followed him. "Why, what's there?"  
  
"It's the biggest collection of books about music that you'll ever see in your life."  
  
Rory stared in awe. There were so many, she didn't know where to start. But Jess was already looking for one.  
  
"Wow," she said, her eyes wide.  
  
Jess stood, having retrieved the book he wanted. "Here," he handed her a neon orange, messy looking book.  
  
"'Please Kill Me'?" Rory read the title, somewhat amused. "Didn't you recommend this to me a long time ago?"  
  
Jess tried not to smile to obviously at the fact that she'd remembered. "Yeah. Last year, when you were supposed to be-"  
  
"Tutoring you," she finished for him, flashing him a grin. "I remember." She opened the cover to find the price, and suddenly smacked her hand to her forehead.  
  
"Oh my God," she said. "I'm such an idiot, I barely brought any money!"  
  
"Forget it," Jess said, grabbing the book. "I'll get it for you."  
  
"Oh come on," she protested. "You don't have to do that, I mean... I'll just order a copy on Amazon when I get home, it's no big deal-"  
  
He cut her off with a deep kiss. Rory's spine tingled; he hadn't kissed her yet since she'd gotten to New York. But this certainly made up for it.  
  
After a few moments, he pulled away with a smirk. "Quit complaining when I offer to get you stuff, would ya'?" he said.  
  
Rory giggled. "Fine. But if you keep doing this, eventually I'll have no choice but to break out into an off key rendition of Jennifer Lopez's "My Love Don't Cost a Thing" every time you try to buy me something."  
  
He winced. "You wouldn't."  
  
"Try me."  
  
He sighed. "Fine. I'll just have to find a way to shut you up when that happens."  
  
"Oh yeah?" she asked, faking a tough attitude. "And how, pray tell, would you go about that exactly?"  
  
He smirked, with a look of mischief in his eyes. "I've got a few ideas..."  
  
Rory turned her attention back to the books to hide her blushing cheeks as Jess walked to the counter to pay for the book.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Luke could barely concentrate.  
  
He'd been wiping down the same spot on the counter at the diner for what must have been 10 minutes. He couldn't help it. His mind kept wandering.  
  
He hated Jess' father. He never would have told Jess that. But he really did. He'd known Jimmy Mariano back when he was dating Liz. Back then, Luke had played the classic role of the protective older brother. But even if he hadn't had that incentive, he'd never had a good feeling about Jimmy. He always seemed distracted; like he was ready to pick up and leave any minute. So of course, when Liz announced that she was pregnant, Luke had not been too happy about it.  
  
Unfortunately, his vague prediction had materialized right before his eyes. When Jess was born, Jimmy took off. Nobody knew where he was for years. When they finally figured out where he was, nobody cared much to go find him. As far as Luke was concerned, they all would have been perfectly happy to live out their lives, never seeing or hearing from him ever again.  
  
But Jess wanted to see him. As much as Jess was angry with him for deserting him, Jess still wanted to know him. It's important for a boy to know where he came from, even if he came from a complete... well, a complete Jack Ass.  
  
Luke just hoped Jess wouldn't let Jimmy fool him. Jimmy was a charmer; he'd gotten Liz to trust him enough that she let him move in with her, and get her pregnant. Luke was terrified that Jimmy would convince Jess that his place wasn't in Stars Hollow with Luke; it was in Venice Beach with his father.  
  
A loud knock on the door shocked Luke out of his trance. He looked up and found an obviously distressed Lorelai standing outside his door. She tried to force a smile, but he could see that her eyes were still too anxious to be happy. Hurriedly, Luke opened the door and let her in.  
  
"Lorelai, what's going on?"  
  
She began pacing the floor the moment she got inside. "I don't know how I let this happen," she rambled. "I mean, what kind of a mother am I? What kind of mother let's her only child put herself in that kind of danger? I'm an idiot; I might as well have just taken away her pepper spray and sent her, scantily clad, right smack to the middle of Hell's kitchen! I-"  
  
"Whoa whoa whoa," Luke stopped her in her tracks, with a forceful, steadying hand on her shoulder. "What happened? Is Rory hurt?"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "No. I don't think so."  
  
Luke sighed, relieved. "Thank God. You nearly gave me a heart attack there, you can't do stuff like that to me."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "I'm sorry."  
  
"It's ok," he said, going back behind the counter. "Here, I'm gonna make you some coffee. Sit down."  
  
Lorelai took a seat on a stool, trying to regulate her breathing. "Thanks Luke."  
  
"No problem," he said, cleaning out the coffee pot. "What happened?"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Rory went to New York."  
  
Crash.  
  
Luke and Lorelai both stared at the broken coffee pot on the ground.  
  
"Nice going, butterfingers," Lorelai remarked.  
  
Luke ignored her. "That's why we've got more than one of those," he said, going into the back room to get another coffee pot. He returned quickly, looking completely confused. "Why did Rory go to New York?"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Do you really even have to ask?"  
  
Luke nodded to himself, deciding that his original assumptions had been correct. "She went to see Jess," he said.  
  
"Give the man a prize," Lorelai said.  
  
Luke shook his head. "Was she really that worried about him?"  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Apparently. She said he left her a really cryptic message this morning, and she was really freaked out."  
  
"Did something happen to him?"  
  
Lorelai shrugged. "I don't know. All I know is, Rory came home, and she said to me, 'Mom, I have to go to New York.' I said, 'Why?' and she said, 'Something's going on with Jess, I have to see him.'" Lorelai sighed with a chuckle. "Of course, I didn't argue with her; how could I have? I mean, have you seen Rory when she's resolute about something? She gets all determined and scary, like a politician or something. I think she gets it from her grandparents." Lorelai sighed. "No, I SHOULD have said something. I should have tried to get her to just-just calm down and get a little rational perspective before she just took off, but I-"  
  
"Don't beat yourself up about it," Luke said.  
  
Lorelai's lips curled up in a small smile. "Oh, but I'm so good at it."  
  
He smiled a little. "Just relax, I'll make us some food."  
  
Lorelai shook her head. "Come on, you're already closed."  
  
"It's no big deal, I'd just make two meals."  
  
"But you cleaned everything off already."  
  
"It's not that difficult to just clean up after two more people."  
  
"But you turned off all the-the machines that cook and everything already. I don't want to make you go through the trouble of turning all the cooking machines back on."  
  
Luke snickered. "The 'cooking machines?'"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Luke, you don't have to do this. Really. I don't even really know why I came over here, I just-I guess I thought you should know what was going on. And, I thought maybe you could relate to me. I mean hey," she offered with a slight chuckle, "We're both single parents with crazy teenagers who ran away to New York. That's a pretty big thing to have in common."  
  
Luke snickered a little. "It's ok, Lorelai. Stay. I'll make you a burger if you want. And I'll even promise not to try and convince you not to eat it by going into detail about how the cow was slaughtered, if that'd make you feel better."  
  
Lorelai grinned, touched. "You'd really do that for me?"  
  
He chuckled a little. "I guess I'm going soft." He handed her a cup full of coffee with a sly grin. "Excuse me a minute, I have to go in the back and turn on the cooking machines."  
  
***************************************************  
  
"I had no idea Nico and Iggy Pop had an affair!"  
  
Rory stumbled into the apartment after Jess, her nose deep in her newly bought book.  
  
Jess smiled. "I told you you'd like that book."  
  
Rory didn't even seem to hear him. "Look at this picture of Lester Bangs!" She said, amused. Never taking her eyes off the page, she was walking straight at a chair. Chuckling, Jess steered her by the shoulders toward the couch and helped her avoid the near collision.  
  
He sat down on the couch and she followed suit, closing the book for the first time since they'd left the store.  
  
"Thanks again for getting this for me," she said.  
  
He shrugged, humbly. "No big deal. I figured it was about time you learned about Patti Smith."  
  
"I know about Patti Smith," she insisted.  
  
"You know about her poetry because you're a book worm. But you have yet to listen to her music."  
  
Rory rolled her eyes. "What am I, a musical moron? I'm best friends with Lane Kim, OF COURSE I've heard her music."  
  
Jess laughed. "Hearing 'Because the Night' on the radio doesn't count as having heard the Patti Smith Group. You have to hear Gloria and all the stuff on the Horses album."  
  
"And how exactly am I going to do that?" she asked. "I know you don't have her cds, I've been through your collection a zillion times."  
  
"Yeah, in Stars Hollow," he replied, standing up. "I have them in my room; come on."  
  
Rory stood awkwardly, not making a move to follow him. "Your room?"  
  
Jess smirked. "Yeah. It's still there; Liz hasn't gotten a chance to turn it into a storage space quite yet."  
  
Rory took a few small steps toward him. "She's gonna be back soon, isn't she?"  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Not for another couple hours, at least. Come on, I promise I won't try anything. I'll keep my hormones in check. It's not like I'm just out of prison or anything."  
  
Rory blushed a little. "It's not YOUR hormones I'm worried about."  
  
Jess smirked. "Oh really?" he said, taking a few steps toward her.  
  
She buried her face in her hands. "God, I sound like a teenage soap opera star or something."  
  
He chuckled. "Hey, I'm not complaining," he tried to comfort her embarrassment, placing his hands gently on her hips.  
  
Rory sighed. "Fine. We'll go in, we'll listen to Patti Smith. But no fooling around, and that's a rule!" she insisted, using a firm pointer finger to emphasize her command.  
  
"Agreed."  
  
"Good." She smiled. "You lead the way."  
  
Jess opened the door slowly, hoping suddenly that he hadn't left any underwear or embarrassing possessions lying around in plain view. But once he walked in, he was at ease; the room was pretty bare, in reality.  
  
Although it was mostly bare, a strange sense of awe swept over Rory as she walked in. It was a bizarre, jolting reminder that Jess had had his own life before he came to town and turned hers upside down. Her eyes were overwhelmed by all the images they were trying to digest. He had posters of the Clash and the Ramones and Operation Ivy all over his walls; so many posters, in fact, that the wall paper was barely visible anymore. Books were everywhere; there was an even larger collection here than he had back in Stars Hollow. In the corner was an old, beat up acoustic guitar in an open case. On his bedside table lay a bunch of photos spread out of Jess with teenage kids Rory had never seen before or heard him talk about. It was a real wake up call, to realize that Jess knew Rory better than almost anything, and she didn't know anything about the life he'd had before last year.  
  
Neither of them spoke for a long while, until Jess headed to his shelf filled with CDs and began searching.  
  
"It might take a minute to find Patti Smith; you can sit if you want."  
  
Rory had no interest in listening to CDs anymore, though.  
  
"We can't avoid the subject forever," she said softly. The serious tone in her voice made Jess stop short. He didn't have to ask what she meant; he knew just what she was talking about.  
  
"I never said we were going to," he said.  
  
"Don't get me wrong," she offered. "It was fun and all, taking this little vacation from reality. But eventually, we are going to have to talk about it."  
  
He nodded solemnly, keeping his eyes on the floor.  
  
"What's going on with you?" Rory asked, suddenly desperate. "Every time we get close to the subject of your Mother or your father, or anything that was a part of your life before I met you, you just close yourself off!" Jess winced at the mention of his parents, and Rory felt the sting of unwanted tears in her eyes as she cried, "I don't even know what your parents did to you to make you hate them so much!!!"  
  
"What difference does it make?!" he yelled suddenly. "You wouldn't understand anyway, you've got the dream family!!!"  
  
"Jess..." Rory started towards him, trying to comfort him, but he cried out again.  
  
"How the hell am I supposed to tell you about that?!" he yelled. "How am I supposed to tell Rory Gilmore, daughter of Lorelai, everybody's favorite mother, that my parents don't give a SHIT about me?!?!" he turned away from her and kicked aimlessly at a jacket that had fallen to the floor. Rory didn't say a word; she could tell in his tone of voice that he wasn't really angry with her; he was just angry with the world. She wanted to reach out and comfort him, but she knew he wasn't finished quite yet.  
  
Still keeping his eyes on the wall, facing away from her, he continued quietly.  
  
"He just took off," he explained, exasperated. "He got my mother pregnant, then freaked out in the delivery room after I was born. Said he was going to go get something at a store down the street..." he shook his head to himself. "It took my mom years to admit that he was never gonna come back. So she gave up. She only wanted me in the first place so that she could get him to stick around and marry her or something; but he left, and she didn't have any use for me anymore. So what the hell did she care if I got in trouble? What did it matter if I was failing school, if I never came home at night? If I started smoking when I was 13 god damn years old, or if almost got myself killed when some ass hole tied to mug me in an alley?" he sighed. "She never gave a shit what happened to me. She didn't want me..." he turned back to her, but still couldn't look in her eyes. "How the hell was I supposed to tell you that, when you've got a mother like yours? I mean, shit, Rory, half the people in that town wish you were their kid. My own parents didn't even want me, so how the hell was I supposed to-"  
  
"I'm not an idiot!" she cried, a knot of suppressed tears forming in her throat. "I know I'm the lucky one, I know I'm naïve, living in this little bubble of perfection; I get it." she sighed. "But I-I love you. You're supposed to tell me this stuff because I'm your girlfriend, and I love you." she offered a slight smile. "Besides, if I'd wanted to stay in my little bubble of perfection, I never would have started dating you in the first place, would I?"  
  
He didn't acknowledge her joke. He just stared at the wall, completely unable to form words. As bizarre as it seemed, he couldn't remember actually having explained the story of his parents to anyone before now. It was a huge weight off his shoulders; but it also left him completely open. And he wasn't used to being that open, that vulnerable. It scared him.  
  
"Hey," she whispered, cupping his face in her hands to direct his eyes to hers. "I'm sorry. We can just... talk about it some other time if you want."  
  
He nodded slowly, and Rory wrapped her arms around him. Even if he thought his parents never loved him, at least, she thought, she could make sure he knew that she did.  
  
Thankfully, she felt his hands gently hold her closer to him. After a few moments, a grin spread over her lips. "I'm going to break a rule I made," she admitted, and was grateful to hear his sarcastic reply, "I wouldn't expect any less from a rebel like you."  
  
She grinned, placing little kisses on his cheeks and forehead and neck, and she felt shivers up her spine as his cool fingers crept slowly up the back of her shirt. She tugged at the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head gently, but before she could kiss him again, he stopped her.  
  
"I thought you were worried about Liz-"  
  
"She won't be home for a couple hours," Rory said with a mischievous grin. "She'll never know."  
  
He shook his head with a chuckle. "What would your mother say?"  
  
"'Nice going,' probably," She joked. Hearing him laugh, she felt the knot in her stomach start to disappear. She felt suddenly like there was nothing standing between them. She knew what had happened to him; she knew where he came from, she knew why he was this person who had such an inexplicable effect on her. It finally felt like home, to feel his bare skin against hers. Never taking her lips away from his, she locked his bedroom door behind her before they stumbled toward his old bed together.  
  
*******************************************************************  
  
Lorelai laughed aloud. "No, do you remember that morning here after the dance marathon?" Luke nodded with a smile.  
  
"'Hi' 'Hi' 'Hi' 'Hi' 'Hi' 'Hi'," he said, mocking Rory and Jess' awkward behavior during the first few days of their relationship.  
  
"'Bye' 'Bye' 'Bye' 'Bye' 'Bye'," Lorelai said, completing the thought. She laughed some more. "I can't believe you didn't know what was going on until I told you. It was so obvious."  
  
"It's wasn't that obvious."  
  
"Oh please," she laughed. "They were so transparent. They kept smiling whenever they saw each other, or whenever someone mentioned the other one in their ear shot, or whenever they thought about each other. I mean, for Jess, that's a dead giveaway, since he never used to smile for any reason whatsoever."  
  
"I'm not totally oblivious, Lorelai," Luke defended himself. "I knew something weird was going on with them. I had a hunch."  
  
"Oh really?" Lorelai challenged him. "Fine, if you're not so oblivious, tell me; when did Rory and Jess first kiss?"  
  
"That night after you and Rory got back from Yale with your grandparents," Luke said, very sure of himself.  
  
"EEH!!!" Lorelai screeched, impersonating a game show buzzer. "I'm sorry, Mr. Danes, that is incorrect."  
  
Luke looked confused. "When did they get a chance to kiss before that?" he asked, racking his brain.  
  
"At Sookie's wedding the year before," Lorelai answered, eating another French fry. Luke's eyes widened.  
  
"Sookie's wedding?" he asked, disbelieving. "But-but-but they-and she-"  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Yeah, yeah, I know. They weren't together yet, she was still with Dean, he had only just gotten back from new York, I know. But it's true," she said, placing a hand over her heart. "I solemnly swear on the life of Santa Clause."  
  
Luke rolled his eyes. "What? That isn't worth anything; swearing on the life of someone who's not really alive defeats the purpose of swearing on someone's life."  
  
"What are you saying?" Lorelai challenged him. "That Santa Clause is dead?"  
  
"No. News Flash, Virginia, there IS no Santa Clause. He's not real, therefore he was never alive, and his life is an invalid thing to swear upon."  
  
Lorelai's mouth dropped, in a fake expression of shock and horror. "What do you mean Santa's not real?" She asked in a trembling, child's voice. Luke rolled his eyes.  
  
"Maybe it's time somebody told you the truth about the Easter Bunny," he said, refilling her coffee cup.  
  
Lorelai eyed him suspiciously as he did so. "All right," she said, "confession time."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
Lorelai gestured to the coffee cup. "Voluntarily giving me immeasurably large amounts of coffee? Offering to make me dinner? Don't think you fool me for a second, Lucas, I see what you're up to."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Great, she's talking crazy talk again-"  
  
"You want something from me," she insisted, pointing an accusing finger at him. "I know it."  
  
"Geeze, calm down, would ya'?" he said, taking her plate and his off of the table they'd been sitting at. "It's called a pleasant dinner. Obviously not something you're incredibly familiar with."  
  
Lorelai followed him into the back room as he put the dishes into the sink. "No, usually, dinner consists of me and Rory eating takeout and arguing about which character on The Real World is our favorite."  
  
Luke shook his head with a chuckle. "Talk about quality family time."  
  
"What? Do you mean to tell me that you and Jess sit down at a candlelit, well set table and have homemade meals, consisting of good quality, healthy and hearty foods and discuss important moral issues like those kids on 7th Heaven?"  
  
"I didn't say that," Luke said.  
  
"Do you guys even talk at all?" Lorelai asked, genuinely curious.  
  
"Of course we talk!" Luke said. "Maybe not as much as you and Rory; we're not exactly best buddies or anything, but... we talk enough."  
  
"About what?" Lorelai asked, unable to remember the last time Luke had been aware of things going on in Jess' life without having spied on him or having heard it from someone else.  
  
"Stuff," Luke answered. "School, the diner, Rory, his car; all the important stuff."  
  
Lorelai tried to stifle a laugh. "School, the diner, Rory and his car? That's ALL you guys talk about?"  
  
"Well we'd discuss politics like the Kennedy's, but what can I say? He eats too fast for us to really get into it." Slightly annoyed, he scrubbed at the plate with a sponge so viciously, he nearly broke it. Sensing his anger, Lorelai grabbed the sponge out of his hands.  
  
"Whoa, calm down there Bucko," she said.  
  
"Bucko?" he echoed her.  
  
"We'll work on a better nick name for you later," she said, "but right now, let's deal with this you-and-Jess-never-talking issue."  
  
"I told you we talk-"  
  
"Luke, I hate to break it to you, but the diner and his car are not 'important' conversation topics for a teenage boy and his only father figure."  
  
Luke sighed, defenseless. He knew she was right.  
  
"What's the matter?" she asked with genuine concern. "You've been acting all wacky since Jess left. Fess up."  
  
It was no use arguing with her to get her to drop the subject. They were alone there; there was nothing to distract him. He sighed, figuring he might as well just come out with it.  
  
"I'm a failure," he said.  
  
"In general?" she asked. "Or just in one particular area of life?"  
  
"As a guardian," Luke said. "I mean look at me. I can barely manage Jess by myself. If I didn't have Rory, and you by extension, looking out for him, I'd probably have let him get himself killed by now."  
  
Lorelai shook her head. "Luke, come on, that's not true-"  
  
"Yes it is," he said. "You know it, too, don't say it's not just to make me feel better. I gotta face the facts; Jess is way out of my control. I can't get him to tell me anything, especially the truth, I never know where he is; hell, I can barely even get him to speak to me at all, not even about stupid stuff, like the weather."  
  
Lorelai smirked a little. "Well, to be fair, Jess isn't really the let's- discuss-the-weather-type, if you know what I mean, so I wouldn't beat yourself up about it if he won't come out and say stuff like 'This is great weather we've been having' or 'Gee, isn't it-'"  
  
"Come on, Lorelai," he interrupted. "You know what I mean."  
  
"No I don't," she said. "Because it seems to me like you're talking crazy talk. You are NOT a failure; I mean, you're my hero since you got the kid to graduate high school."  
  
"But that's not-"  
  
"No, stop talking!" she commanded. "Let me finish; I swear, you'll feel a lot better when I'm done."  
  
Luke shut his mouth.  
  
"Thank you. Listen, Luke, I think you're doing a great job with Jess. It's not your fault if he's not really all-American-boy material; he only came here two years ago, remember? He was already messed up by his mother when he got here; and trust me, it's a lot easier to screw a kid up as a parent than it is to undo all the harm that's been done. Luke, you got him to quit smoking-"  
  
"Rory made him do that."  
  
"Correction: Rory asked him to do it, you forced him. And you got him working, earning his own money, and going to school. You let him get a car, and with your help, he hasn't crashed it once, or gotten any outstanding tickets."  
  
"That's not such a big deal."  
  
"Are you kidding? It's a huge deal! You ought to be proud of yourself, Luke," she said, stepping toward him with a smile, putting a comforting hand on his arm. "I think you're doing a much better job than most guys would be able to."  
  
He smiled a little. "Thanks," he said, avoiding her eyes.  
  
"Anytime, Lucas," she said. "Now cheer up."  
  
He plastered on a sarcastic, wide smile. "There. Happy?"  
  
"Very," she said. "Now take off the baseball cap, and I'll be ecstatic."  
  
He shook his head. "Nice try, but no luck." He started to walk away, but spontaneously, Lorelai lunged at him, trying to grab the cap off his head with a girlish grin.  
  
"Oh, geeze," he said, holding the hat on tight. "What? Are you ten years old?"  
  
"Emotionally? Yeah, approximately." Quickly, she snatched the cap off of his head and tried to make a run for it, but he caught up, being a far better runner than she. He clamped his arms around her from behind, preventing her from running. For a moment, they were both kids again; Lorelai squealed in amusement, trying to get loose of his grip, and even Luke couldn't help chuckling as she squirmed to get away.  
  
"No!" she cried. "I'll never surrender, never!!!"  
  
"Come on," he said, "give it back and I won't restrict your coffee consumption."  
  
Lorelai gasped. "You wouldn't."  
  
"I would too; hand it over."  
  
"How much would you pay me?"  
  
"Nothing; it's MY hat."  
  
"Finder's keepers, losers weepers."  
  
"You didn't find that hat, you stole it; there's a difference."  
  
Lorelai's giggles faded, suddenly noticing the awkward position in which they stood. She turned her head back to face him, to see if he noticed it too; the look on his face suggested that he did.  
  
She didn't even think before doing it; she just smiled a little, and placed a tentative, quick kiss on the corner of his mouth. And for just a moment, everything was perfect.  
  
"Whoa," she said, as they jumped apart from each other.  
  
"Yeah, I know," Luke said, pacing.  
  
"That was-weird and unexpected."  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"We've never done that before."  
  
"Yeah I know."  
  
"I only meant to kiss you on the cheek."  
  
"Yeah I know."  
  
Lorelai wrinkled her forehead, confused. "You did?"  
  
"Oh. Well, no, I didn't. but I was on a roll."  
  
"Oh," she said. "Right."  
  
A tense silence filled the air for a few moments.  
  
"So that didn't mean anything," Luke offered.  
  
"Right, exactly," Lorelai agreed, feeling a strange, unexpected sinking feeling in her stomach. It confused her; was she really disappointed that it hadn't meant anything?  
  
He sighed. "I gotta close up," he said.  
  
Lorelai's heart sunk. This was awful. They weren't even going to talk about it, or anything? "Oh," she replied. "Ok." She offered a faint smile. "Well, I'll see you later."  
  
"Right," he said, stiffly. "Bye, Lorelai."  
  
"Bye Luke."  
  
***************************************  
  
A/N: Mwahahahahah!!!! How evil I am!!!!! Hahaha, yeah, see, I promised there'd be java junkie! Next chapter comes soon. Review!!!!  
  
~Emaline 


	6. Hi, I'm Jess, You're my Father

Chapter Five  
  
Hi, I'm Jess, You're my Father  
  
********************************************* Some things melt away  
  
As night dissolves to day  
  
Some things only stay  
  
Silent darkness slowly kills me  
  
I turn to you  
  
And stir your blank expression.  
  
You're the one for me...  
  
More and more  
  
You take me away  
  
More and more  
  
I need you to stay  
  
More and more  
  
Distract me from the instant loss of light  
  
More and more  
  
I need you tonight....  
  
************************************************  
  
It was well past 2 AM. Rory had fallen asleep about an hour ago. But Jess wasn't even a little tired.  
  
He was exhausted, of course. It had been a long, LONG day. But he wasn't ready to fall asleep just yet. He knew that when he woke up the next day, he'd have to face the present situation; there were a lot of things that he'd been avoiding, and Rory's arrival in town had been a good distraction. But she wasn't going to let him run away from all his problems. He knew her well enough to know that.  
  
So he lay there, in his boxers and Pavement tee shirt, watching her sleep. Her hair was messy, and she was wearing that Sex Pistols tee shirt he'd lent her a few weeks back. The sight almost made him want to laugh; here was this girl in the garb of an angry punk-rocker, with a face that could have belonged to an angel. Talk about a walking contradiction. But he had to admit, that was the first thing that had drawn him to her; she confused him. She wasn't one of those one-dimensional girls who only cared about one thing; she wasn't predictable. She had layers; she had complications; she was real. And she understood that he wasn't just some juvenile delinquent; he was a real, 3 dimensional person too.  
  
He had felt vulnerable to her earlier that evening; MUCH too vulnerable. But he'd gotten over it; he realized the more he let her in, the more real he became to her. And the more real he became, the more she loved him; and he certainly didn't mind her loving him.  
  
Hearing the jingle of keys in the door, he quietly got out of the bed and walked out of his bedroom, closing the door behind him. Liz walked in, surprised to see him there, all ready for bed. She laughed a little.  
  
"You're going to bed already?" she asked. "It's only 2 in the morning; that's pretty early for a night owl like you, isn't it?"  
  
"Hey, keep it down, would ya'?" he said sharply, as quietly as he could. Rory was a pretty heavy sleeper, but Liz's voice wasn't exactly quiet.  
  
"Why?" she asked. "Nobody here but you and me."  
  
He sighed. There was no smooth way to say this, so he figured he might as well just say it and get it over with.  
  
"Rory's sleeping in there."  
  
"What? Who's Rory?"  
  
He rolled his eyes. "A friend."  
  
Her eyes widened. "The kind of friend that you play tonsil hockey with?"  
  
"Oh God, Liz..."  
  
She shook her head. "What are you, just out of prison? You just got back to town a couple days ago, and you're already sleeping around with the locals?"  
  
"I'm not 'sleeping around' with anyone," he said. "And she's not a local. She just needs a place to stay in the city."  
  
"So she's some tourist you picked up on the street?"  
  
"She's from Stars Hollow," he replied, trying to keep his temper. Something about his mother's attitude always got to him; and it was infuriating. "You know, Stars Hollow? That place where I was living for a couple years? Or did you not even notice I was gone?"  
  
"Don't try to change the subject," Liz said. "I came home and you had a girl sleeping in your room; I'd say that requires some kind of explanation."  
  
Inside Jess' room, Rory sat up a little, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands. She could hear voices in the other room. Remembering where she was, and realizing the voices must belong to Jess and his mother, she sat upright and tried to move over to the door as quietly as she could. She didn't mean to invade their privacy; but she couldn't resist the temptation to just hear the sound of her voice, or hear the way they talked to each other. It was intoxicating, learning about Jess' life outside of Stars Hollow; like discovering the clues in a well plotted mystery. Everything she found out helped answer questions she hadn't even realized she wanted answers to.  
  
Pressing her ear to the crack between the door and its frame, she heard Jess speaking, and he sounded relatively annoyed.  
  
"God damnit, Liz, I'm 18, I'm out of high school, I don't even live here anymore; you can't tell me who I can or can't let sleep in my bed."  
  
"I'm your mother," she said. "I can tell you whatever I want."  
  
"It's not like I'm sleeping in there with her," he said, defensively. "I'll sleep on the couch. It's not like my bed's really big enough for two people anyway."  
  
Liz was barely listening; she wasn't really interested in the sleeping arrangement anymore. She wanted to know more about this girl.  
  
"She's from Luke's town?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," he answered.  
  
"How old is she?"  
  
"35," Jess answered, trying not to smirk. "Her real name's Rory, but everyone calls her Candy. It's her stage name at the lounge."  
  
Liz sighed. "You're not funny Jess."  
  
"No, you just don't have a sense of humor, Liz," he retorted.  
  
"How old is she, really?"  
  
"My age," he said, reluctantly. He felt like it wasn't any of Liz's business. If it were up to him, Liz and Rory would never even have to meet each other.  
  
"Does she go to school?"  
  
"When she feels like it," he teased her again, "But she gets by with good grades by doing "extra credit work" in most of her classes... or at least the ones with male teachers..."  
  
"Cut it out!" Liz snapped at him, opening the refrigerator. "God, sometimes I wonder where the hell you got a mouth like that."  
  
"You might try looking in the mirror," he retorted.  
  
Rory stifled a snicker behind the door. The situation wasn't that funny, but Jess certainly was doing a good job with the comeback lines.  
  
"So what does she need to stay with you for?" Liz asked. "Doesn't she have a family?"  
  
"Yeah," he said, "But unlike our family situation, her family lives mostly in the same state. So she doesn't have any place to stay in New York."  
  
"Why'd she come to New York in the first place?"  
  
Jess' eyes shifted to the ground, obviously uncomfortable. But after a moment of thought, he realized he wasn't supposed to be ashamed of this; he was supposed to be proud. And he was; so he stood up straight, and shot Liz a look that could've burnt holes in ice. "She's here to see me," he said. Liz looked a little confused. "I know, it's weird isn't it?" he said sarcastically. "Somebody actually likes me enough to wanna be in close proximity to me."  
  
Liz rolled her eyes. "Quit being a smart ass, ok? I apologized for not coming to your graduation already, what more do you want from me?"  
  
Jess felt his skin burning with anger. He couldn't take this anymore. "What more do I want?" he repeated, incredulous. "How about, for starters, remembering the friggin' name of the place that I live? Or how about an apology for kicking me out when I was 17?"  
  
"Damnit, Jess, I can't-"  
  
"Do you even realize how many things you've done that you should have apologized for?"  
  
"Everybody makes a few mistakes in their lives," she said, defensive. "Forgive me for being human, would ya'?"  
  
"A FEW mistakes?" he cried. "Damnit, Mom, you never even said goodbye when I went to Stars Hollow!!!"  
  
"I thought you would come back soon-"  
  
"Don't give me that! You didn't think I was coming back; and you sure as hell didn't want me to."  
  
"Of course I did-"  
  
"You never invited me back during winter break," he reminded her. Rory flinched, remembering the sleigh ride they'd had before the Bracebridge dinner, when he'd told her that his mother never invited him home. That was the first time he'd told her anything personal about his life; but she'd had no idea back then how bad things were for him. To think she had even thought at first that he was just trying to get people to feel sorry for him... she never would have imagined then what things were really like for him.  
  
Jess continued. "You called maybe twice in the two years I was there. And before you shipped me off to Luke, you never even asked me if I wanted to go." He paused. "There's a long list of things I haven't forgiven you for, Liz, all the way from your drunken behavior to the times you dropped me off places and forgot to pick me up." He paused and let the words sink in. Liz made no attempt to reply; what could she possibly say in response to that?  
  
"I didn't come here for a happy family reunion," he said. "I didn't come here to forgive you. I came here for one reason and one reason only; and once I get that out of the way, I'm going back."  
  
Liz was silent for a while before speaking again; and when she did speak, her voice sounded different. Shaky. Quiet. Ashamed.  
  
"So you're happy there, huh?"  
  
"Where?"  
  
"In, uh... that Stars Hollow place."  
  
Jess nodded his head. "Yeah. I'm just peachy keen."  
  
Liz nodded, before asking timidly, "Is she your girlfriend?"  
  
"Yeah, she is."  
  
"Is it serious?"  
  
"As a heart attack."  
  
She forced a slight smile, but it was obvious she wasn't too happy about the situation. "I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow." She turned and walked quickly into her room, shutting the door and turning on her radio. Jess could faintly hear Elvis Costello playing through her door.  
  
With a sigh, he grabbed a nearby blanket that had been folded on a chair, and pulled it over him as he lay on the couch staring at the ceiling. He didn't feel sorry that his mother was hurt; she didn't have any right to expect his forgiveness.  
  
He heard a door creak, and saw Rory creeping slowly out of his room, tip toeing so that Liz wouldn't know she was there. She offered a weak smile as she crept toward the couch.  
  
"Hey," she whispered, sitting on the couch by his side.  
  
"Hey," he answered. "How much did you hear?"  
  
She had been prepared to lie and say she hadn't heard much; but she knew he'd see through it anyway. What was the use?  
  
"A lot," she admitted. "Including the parts where you told her that I was a 35 year old stripper who's only getting by in school by flirting with all my male teachers."  
  
He smirked. "I couldn't help myself. It was way too tempting to freak her out."  
  
Rory giggled a little. "I can relate. After I go CD shopping, I sometimes like to tell my mom that I saw Bono or somebody famous like that on the street, just to see the look of disappointment on her face and listen to her scold herself for not coming with me."  
  
"Does she fall for it?"  
  
"Every single time."  
  
Jess chuckled a little.  
  
"... I'm sorry that things are so... awful, with her," Rory offered. "I know it's not much, but... I am sorry."  
  
Jess nodded in acknowledgement. There wasn't much to say in response to that.  
  
"I'm gonna go see him tomorrow," he said.  
  
Rory's eyes widened. "Really?" she asked. "Just like that?"  
  
"Just like that."  
  
"You don't even seem nervous."  
  
He shook his head. "I'm not. I just wanna get this out of the way, so we can go home."  
  
Rory smiled to herself. She liked it when he called Stars Hollow 'Home'.  
  
"What do you think you'll say to him?" she asked.  
  
He shrugged. "Huh. I dunno. Figured I'd start with 'Hi, I'm Jess. You're my father.'"  
  
"And then?"  
  
"And then I'll play it by ear."  
  
Her forehead wrinkled; she obviously didn't see that working out. "Are you sure? I mean, maybe it would help to just think of a few things you want to tell him, or ask him-"  
  
He snickered. "Rory, I'm not you. I don't write out lists like you do."  
  
She let a girlish grin spread over her lips. "I know," she admitted. "But would it hurt you to try it, just once?"  
  
He looked up at the ceiling again. "I don't even know what I want to say to him." he paused. "I just want to meet him. Just so that I can say I know what he looks like, or how he acts, you know?"  
  
She nodded, lying down next to him on the couch, resting her head on his chest. "Do you want me to come with you?"  
  
He snickered. "You're far too much of a distraction, Gilmore."  
  
She grinned. "Yeah, well, I try."  
  
Smiling, he planted a firm kiss on her forehead as she snuggled closer to him and pulled the blanket over her body.  
  
"You planning to stay there all night?" he asked with a smirk.  
  
Rory rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, sure. That'd make a great impression on your mother, if the first time she saw me, I was asleep on the couch with you."  
  
"Who cares?" he said. "I guarantee you won't like her. Might make things easier if she doesn't like you either."  
  
"Hey, I might like her. You never know."  
  
"You won't."  
  
"I could."  
  
"You won't, trust me."  
  
She sighed. "Yes, but... suppose one day in the faraway future, you actually make up with her. Wouldn't it be a lot easier then if she and I have a relationship, that's... well, nicer than that of Gwenyth Paltrow and her mother and law in Hush?"  
  
He snickered. "Yeah, I guess it would be easier if my mother didn't try to kill you."  
  
She shoved him gently. "You know what I mean."  
  
He sighed. "Yeah, I know. So, yeah, you can try to be nice to Liz. But just- promise me that when I get back tomorrow I won't find you guys, like- painting each others nails or baking cookies together or anything, ok?"  
  
She giggled. "I promise. No teenage-girl-slumber-party activities. I'll restrain myself."  
  
He smiled. "Good." He turned his head to her and gave her a quick kiss.  
  
"Are you nervous?" she asked softly.  
  
"No," he replied, a little too quickly and defensively. He turned his head, but could still feel her skeptic eyes on him, so he caved. "Ok. Yeah, a little."  
  
She laced her fingers through his. "Don't worry. It'll be fine. And to help you with your nerves, we can have breakfast together tomorrow morning?"  
  
He snickered. "Sure."  
  
She grinned. "Good." She sat up. "I should go back to bed." She kissed him again. "See you in a few hours." On her toes, she shuffled back into his room, still trying not to make any noise.  
  
Jess laid back down after watching her go, and stared at the cracked paint on the ceiling, trying hard to think about what would await him when he woke up the next day. But he could barely concentrate. She really was far too much of a distraction.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
So do I? Or don't I?  
  
Lorelai had been awake all night. This was a completely new experience for her, since she was the queen of excessive sleep. She'd tried desperately for a couple hours to simply shut her eyes and drift away into a dream... but it hadn't worked. So she'd tried every trick she could remember; she drank warm milk; she counted sheep... well, actually, she counted shoes; she even went so far as to turn on an easy listening radio station, but she would put up with it no longer when Rod Stewart came on the air, singing "Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?"  
  
And so she lay there, replaying the events of the evening in her mind over and over. It had all happened so suddenly. She hadn't come to the diner that evening planning to kiss him. In fact, she'd come to do the exact opposite. She wanted to come and complain to him until he got annoyed with her and sent her home. She hadn't expected him to be in a good mood, and ask her to stay for dinner. She hadn't expected to follow him into the back and comfort him about Jess. She hadn't expected him to hold her like that when she stole his hat...  
  
But he had. And for whatever reason, when she looked at him then, he didn't look like Luke to her. He wasn't the guy who'd been serving her coffee forever, the guy with the flannel shirts who was an ex Star Trek fan. He just seemed... different. Kissable.  
  
So, because she had never been one to think before acting, she'd kissed him.  
  
And then, the startled look in his eyes brought him right back from new, different, kissable man, to Luke, the crazy diner man.  
  
If that had been all that had happened, she would have understood it better. She would have been able to write it off as temporary insanity, and move on. But no; life just wasn't that fair. No, her insanity apparently wasn't as temporary as she'd originally thought. Because even after he turned back into reliable old Luke, she still... well, he still looked... well, kissable.  
  
So what was making her feel this way? She'd never really thought of him that way before. She'd been convinced by Sookie that he did feel that way about her, and the events of the night proved to her that he probably did, on some level. So that left it all up to her. And it wasn't an easy thing to decide. So, she stared at the ceiling, asking herself the same question, over and over again.  
  
Do I? Or don't I?  
  
*********************************************************  
  
"Would you like some waffles with your syrup?" Jess asked with a snicker, watching her flood her plate with syrup.  
  
Rory shot him a little glare. "So I like maple syrup. Is that a crime?"  
  
"Not at all. Just try and leave some for me, would you?"  
  
"I make no guarantees," she joked.  
  
"Sorry I couldn't provide a better breakfast," he said, putting the rest of the frozen waffles back in the freezer. "There really aren't any good breakfast places around here."  
  
"No, wasn't there one on the corner? We passed by it on the way back from the book store."  
  
Jess tried to play dumb. "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Don't pretend not to remember it," she said. "It was called... oh, I forget, it was somebody's name and it started with an M. And there were pictures of French Toast and Omlets in the windows!"  
  
"God, nothing gets past you, does it?"  
  
She giggled a little. "Why were you pretending not to remember that?"  
  
He shifted his eyes to his plate. "Well, um... I'm sort of..." he cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "I'm not really allowed to go in there anymore..."  
  
Rory's eyes widened with an amused grin. "What did you do?"  
  
"It's not a big deal," he said. "Just... me and some friends of mine used to... eat and run, over there."  
  
"Eat and run?"  
  
"You know. Eat our food, then leave without paying."  
  
Rory laughed. "Jess, I'm shocked at you. I hope you realize that you've deprived me of a delicious breakfast all because of your juvenile delinquent tendencies."  
  
"My sincerest apologies," he said sarcastically, putting his plate in the sink and getting ready to go. "I'll make it up to you."  
  
"Oh yeah? How?"  
  
He strode back over to her and left a soft kiss on the base of her neck, sending shivers down her spine, and with a grin he said, "I'm sure I'll figure something out."  
  
Before she had a chance to turn around and kiss him, he was off to his room to get dressed for the day.  
  
Liz was already gone when Rory had woken up that morning. Apparently, she had to meet some friends for breakfast. Rory was somewhat grateful for this; she wanted to meet Liz without Jess there. Despite the fact that Jess wasn't too fond of her, Rory wanted to make a good impression on her, and it could have been difficult to do so with him standing there, angry and annoyed, shooting Liz glares.  
  
Jess came back out of his room, all dressed and ready to go. "You're sure you don't mind staying here alone?"  
  
Rory nodded. "I'll be fine. It gives me plenty of time and privacy to go snooping through all your stuff."  
  
He smiled a little. "Ok. I gotta go." He leaned in for a quick kiss before leaving, but she took his face in her hands and deepened the kiss. She smiled when she finally pulled away; that was a kiss he wouldn't be forgetting for a while.  
  
He shook his head. "Like I said, you're a total distraction."  
  
She smiled half-heartedly; she couldn't help it, she was nervous for him. "Good luck," she said, putting her hands in her pockets. He smiled a little to thank her.  
  
"Later."  
  
And just like that he was gone. Rory sighed, looking at the door as though expecting him to come walking right back through. He didn't though. And she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that when he came back, if he'd actually done what he set out to do, he wouldn't be the same.  
  
She just hoped that the change would be for the better.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
Room 312 of the Paramount hotel.  
  
Jess smiled to himself, imagining that the people working at the hotel thought he was some kind of stalker. His behavior when he arrived at the hotel hadn't been exactly inconspicuous; in fact it had been fairly suspicious.  
  
But now he was there. In front of his father's room. And Jess seemed somewhat relieved that he wasn't that far away from getting this whole thing behind him.  
  
He raised his hand and knocked tentatively.  
  
"Just a second!" he heard a voice call from inside. It was the same voice he'd heard at the bar the other night. So at least, he thought, he wouldn't be surprised by his father's appearance. It was comforting to know what he looked like already.  
  
In moments, the door opened, and the man standing inside looked so shocked, it confused Jess. Did he know who Jess was already, or did he have to introduce himself?  
  
"Uh... hi," Jess began, suddenly finding it really difficult to talk. "I, uh... I'm Je-"  
  
"I know who you are," the man said.  
  
"So you're-"  
  
"Jimmy," the man said, his face still just as surprised. "Jimmy Mariano." The man suddenly let out a nervous laugh, obviously finding the situation extremely bizarre. Still laughing a little, he said, "I'm your father."  
  
Jess wasn't really sure what to do. He hadn't really known what to expect, but a large part of him expected this confrontation to be slightly hostile. This was a man who'd abandoned him before Jess even got a chance to know him. Jess wasn't supposed to like him. But something about the way he was laughing, and the look on his face... Jess just felt like he knew him. And he felt like he knew that he was just a normal guy who'd gotten into a bad situation. That wasn't really an excuse; but it had been 18 years since then. What could either of them really say about it? They couldn't change the past, no matter how many times Jess told him off for what he did, or how many times Jimmy apologized and tried to make it up to him. So, Jess figured, he might as well get over it, and put it in the past. For now, he could just try to get to know his father.  
  
He put out his hand to shake Jimmy's, but, awkwardly, Jimmy took his hand and pulled Jess into a hug. It confused Jess at first... but after a moment, it seemed to make sense. They were family, to some extent.  
  
Jimmy pulled away with a slight smile. "So, uh... you wanna come in for a while?"  
  
After thinking a moment, Jess nodded slightly. "Sure," he said, stepping inside and closing the door behind him.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
A/N: So... the next week might be stressful or it might be easy. I can't tell. Either way, the next chapter will be relatively soon. Hehehe, it's starting to get really interesting!!!!! Sorry there wasn't much L/L action in there... I figured, realistically, they wouldn't just kiss and then magically decide, "oh, forget the years of denial, I Love you, blah blah blah." Just give them some time, guys, they'll come around eventually.  
  
Please review!!!!! The reviews are extremely helpful and motivational!!!!!!!  
  
~Emaline 


	7. Little Lorelai and Big Lorelai

Chapter Six  
  
Little Lorelai and Big Lorelai  
  
*************************  
  
It was just past noon, and Jess' mother still hadn't returned to the apartment. After Jess had left, Rory had curled up on the couch with a book of essays by Lester Bangs she'd found on one of Jess' bookshelves. But after a while, the reading grew tiresome. She'd read most of the essays already with Lane.  
  
She spent a little time poking around in not too private areas. She checked all the classic places; the medicine cabinet, the backs of the kitchen cabinets, and of course, Jess' old underwear drawer (an idea her mother had planted in her head long ago). Unfortunately, the only things she found in the drawer besides boxers were a poorly hidden pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and a pocket knife. She tried to find old pictures of Jess as a child, which promised to be amusing, but she couldn't find one. Eventually, she gave up, and picked up her cell phone and started dialing. She really needed to make a couple calls.  
  
She hadn't really expected Lorelai to answer. Most mornings when she didn't have work, she stayed at Luke's for a long time. But surprisingly, she did answer.  
  
"Aloha?"  
  
Rory smiled, relieved to hear her mother's voice. "Hey, mom," she said.  
  
"Rory!" Lorelai squealed, excited. "You're still alive!"  
  
"That I am," Rory chuckled. "I'm sorry I didn't call last night; it was late, and I was... distracted."  
  
Lorelai winced, trying her hardest not to think about the activities Rory was probably distracted with. "It's ok, I was out pretty late last night too."  
  
"Doing what?"  
  
"Celebrating with the whole town because we finally got rid of you," she joked. "Secret's out."  
  
Rory stuck out her bottom lip. "I'm hurt. Deeply."  
  
"Oh, suck it up," she snapped, sarcastically.  
  
"Fine. How was the celebration?"  
  
"The Best. There was square dancing and three legged racing and flags and- cake and-"  
  
"Wow. You guys really go all out when celebrating my absence."  
  
"Yeah, well I guess that just goes to show how much we despise ya'."  
  
Rory sighed. "How's life in Stars Hollow? Really?"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "I wouldn't know. I haven't been out of the house since last night."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I'm trapped in here!" Lorelai whined. "I can't go outside. This town is too small. It's WAY too difficult to avoid people."  
  
"Huh? Who are you avoiding?"  
  
"Luke."  
  
"Why? What happened? Did he hint that he likes you again or something?"  
  
"Not exactly."  
  
Rory sighed, frustrated. "Well explain please, because this is long distance and it's costing quite a bit too much money for you to be cryptic."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Ok. Well see... last night after you left, I had a little bit of a nervous, worried meltdown."  
  
Rory put a hand over her heart, pretending to be touched. "Oh really? Awww, that's so sweet-"  
  
"Shut up, I'm trying to say something!"  
  
"Wow. Talk about running hot and cold. Ok, continue."  
  
"So, I went to Luke's to complain to him."  
  
"Of course," Rory said. "And?"  
  
"And we had dinner together, and we got to talking, and then I tried to steal his hat," Lorelai rambled, completely flustered, "and then I-I-"  
  
"You-you-what?"  
  
"I kissed him."  
  
Crash.  
  
"Whoa, Rory? Rory, what happened?"  
  
A stunned Rory picked the phone up, "Sorry. Dropped the phone."  
  
Lorelai collapsed on the couch. "This is awful!!!" she whined. "I can't concentrate on anything, I'm confused, I can't go anywhere, for fear that I might run into him, and I'm STARVING!!!!!" she sighed. "I must have died and gone to hell."  
  
"What did you ever do to merit going to Hell?" Rory asked.  
  
She shook her head. "Beats me. Maybe because of what I did to Max."  
  
"Huh. Maybe."  
  
"Or maybe because at Fran's funeral, all I could think about was buying the Dragonfly."  
  
"Yeah, that was pretty distasteful of you," Rory agreed.  
  
"Or maybe because I got pregnant out of wedlock when I was 16."  
  
"Yeah, from a Christian perspective, that's not something that'll guarantee you a spot upstairs with the big guy."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Great. So just when I thought this day couldn't get any worse, I discover that I'm going to Hell, and my own daughter thinks I deserve it."  
  
"I never said that," Rory defended herself. "You brought the whole thing up, I was just agreeing with you."  
  
"Fine, defend yourself with technicalities." Lorelai sighed. "What do I do, Rory?"  
  
"Well, I hate to be the one to give you this advice," she began, "but I think you need to go talk to him."  
  
"But I don't want to!"  
  
"Mom, you have to. You can't just pretend it never happened. Trust me, I've tried that before. It doesn't really work out that well, especially not with guys in their family."  
  
"But I-"  
  
"Nope! I don't want to hear it, young lady," Rory scolded her mother in her best Emily Gilmore tone. "Now you get your butt off the couch, and turn off VH1 because I know you've already seen all the countdowns they have, and go down to the diner to talk to Luke."  
  
"But--!"  
  
"Now!!!"  
  
Lorelai sighed, frustrated. "God, someone's sure caught on to the rude New York City attitude quickly."  
  
"Yeah, Jess says I'm adjusting well," Rory said. "Now get going!"  
  
"Fine, fine, I'll go. But if he's too busy to talk, I'm gonna leave."  
  
"He's never too busy to talk to you, Mom."  
  
"That's not true," Lorelai objected.  
  
Rory sighed. "Name ONE time that he was too busy to talk to you, and I'll stop pushing."  
  
Lorelai winced, racking her brain. "It was-the time-back when we were... at the diner and I said-"Hey there Luke," and he said, "Not right now, Lorelai, I'm TOO busy to talk to you."' There was no sound on the other end, but Lorelai could just picture Rory's skeptic glare. "Oh come on," she whined. "You remember the time, don't you?"  
  
"Go talk to him," Rory insisted again.  
  
"Oh fine!" Lorelai gave up. "But just so you know, I'm disowning you."  
  
"Love you too, Mom," Rory replied. "Tell everyone I say hi."  
  
"Yeah whatever," Lorelai grumbled. "Call me tonight."  
  
"I will. Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
Rory hung up, and immediately dialed Lane's number.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Lane, it's me."  
  
"Hey Rory!" Lane squealed, happy to hear her voice.  
  
But before Rory could answer, her heart stopped. She heard keys in the door.  
  
"Sorry, gotta go," she whispered, and hung up before Lane could say a word. A sudden sense of terror filled her; for some reason, meeting Jess' mother for the first time proved to be a really intimidating thing to do. She glanced down at her body, forgetting for a moment whether or not she had remembered to change out of the tee shirt and boxers Jess had lent her the night before. Thankfully, she had remembered to put on her own clothes that morning; glancing in the mirror, she found she looked presentable enough.  
  
Thinking quickly, she grabbed the book again and opened it, collapsing on the couch and trying to look as though she'd been there for hours.  
  
Liz nearly had a heart attack when her eyes fell upon Rory's figure on the couch. She hadn't expected anyone to be there when she got back; Jess hadn't seemed too keen on introducing his guest to her, so she'd assumed he would take this Rory character out on the town with him. But she'd obviously assumed wrongly.  
  
"Figures," she thought to herself, seeing the girl was slow to look up from the book in her hands. It made sense that Jess would make a connection with any girl his age that was interested in any kind of reading. But taking a second look, Liz couldn't find any other obvious indicators that this girl was well suited for Jess. As Rory looked up from the book with a warm, friendly smile, Liz couldn't help but be confused by the idea that she seemed... well, nice. And Jess wasn't exactly known for having NICE girlfriends. Usually, his conquests were ditzy girls in low cut tops with shoes so tall they could barely walk in them. This was certainly a refreshing change of pace.  
  
Rory stood up, putting the book down and putting on her friendliest smile that she usually reserved for teachers. From the way Jess had described her, Rory had expected Liz to look like some kind of junkie/prostitute. But, much to Rory's relief, she didn't. She looked a little too young to have an 18 year old son... but then again, Lorelai looked too young to have an 18 year old daughter too. She had long jet black hair pulled up into a hair sprayed pony tail, and the same nose and cheekbones that Jess had. If Rory hadn't known better, she would have thought she was a much older sister and not a mother.  
  
"Hi," she offered her hand to shake as she crossed the room. "You must be Jess' mom." She silently scolded herself for her choice in words. She'd tried to sound polite, and instead she came off as though she'd been rehearsing the simple line all morning.  
  
But Liz was somewhat impressed by Rory's attitude. She shook her hand with a slight smile. "Yeah," she said. "I'm Liz. You're Rory, right?"  
  
"Yeah," Rory said. "Actually, my name's Lorelai, but everyone calls me Rory, because my mother's name is Lorelai too, so it's a lot less confusing this way, and people don't have to call us 'Big Lorelai' and 'Little Lorelai' like she'd originally planned..." she offered an awkward smile, making a mental note that she had to work on her tendency to talk too much when nervous.  
  
"I see," Liz said, not sure how exactly she was supposed to respond to that. After a moment of awkward silence, she asked, "Where's Jess?"  
  
"Oh, he went-" she stopped, suddenly realizing that he might not want Liz to know where he was. "He went out for a while," she said.  
  
"And he left you here all alone?" Liz asked, raising her eye brows. This was so like him, she thought. He finally had a nice girl, and he was treating her like dirt.  
  
"It's fine, really," Rory assured her. "He asked me to come along, but I asked to stay. I'm kind of exhausted from last night." Her stomach dropped. "I mean-! I mean, from the trip last night. The bus ride-the bus ride was the thing that was exhausting..." she sighed. 'Nice going, Rory,' she thought to herself, 'You might as well have just said, "Hi, nice to meet you Mrs. Mariano. Your son and I had wild, passionate sex last night."'  
  
Liz chuckled a little. She could tell how hard Rory was trying to make a good impression on her; and it was nice. She'd never gotten to be in that position before. Jess had rarely introduced her to his girlfriends, and when he did, they weren't generally the kinds of girls who cared much what Liz thought of them.  
  
She tried to comfort Rory's nerves a little. "Yeah, the buses here aren't exactly relaxing."  
  
Rory nodded. "You can say that again."  
  
"Well," Liz began, "I don't want to keep you from your book there, so I'll just grab a couple things and be out of your hair." She headed off to her room, leaving a slightly disappointed Rory in the living room.  
  
Rory had hoped to at least get to know Liz a little. Especially after that awkward, unintentional sexual innuendo, she wanted more time to prove to Liz that she was good for Jess, and not just another one of his temporary make out partners.  
  
Just as she sat down on the couch to open the book again, Liz reemerged from her room with a look on her face that suggested that she was maybe- just maybe-a little nervous. "On second thought," she began, "would you maybe... I dunno, want to grab a bite to eat or something?" her fingers fumbled with the strap of her purse. "I could even show you around town a little, if you want. You know, just till Jess gets back..."  
  
Rory smiled, relieved to see she wasn't the only one looking to make a good impression. "I'd love that," she said, standing up. "I'll just go grab my wallet."  
  
Happily, Rory walked into Jess' room and grabbed a few ten dollar bills from a pile of money Jess had left on his dresser. Hopefully he wouldn't mind.  
  
*********************************************************  
  
It was almost 2 PM, and Lorelai was stuck.  
  
She'd walked, determined, all the way to Luke's, just as her daughter had ordered. But when she reached the door, and caught sight of Luke wiping down the counter, a strange sense of fear came over her, and she bolted; granted, it wasn't graceful in her heels, but she got out of sight quickly, and proceeded to stop by just about every open building in the Town Square. She went so far as to sit in and watch one of Miss Patty's yoga classes, all in the name of procrastination. When all the members of the class started trying to make pretzels out of their bodies, she could barely keep her laughter inside anymore, and she'd had no choice but to leave.  
  
But now it was 2 PM and there was no place left to go besides Luke's. She couldn't go into Doose's market again; she'd been in twice already, and Taylor kept following her around to see if she was shoplifting. She was afraid if she went in again, he might demand one of his employees to do a strip search.  
  
Of course, she'd backed herself into a corner, because now the lunch rush was over; therefore, there was no chance that Luke would be too busy to notice her come in. Lost in thought, she stood in plain view of the diner, staring through its windows like a lonely child outside a pet store. The voice of the town troubadour shook her out of her trance. He sang a song by Sam Phillips that she'd always liked, and he sang it with a mischievous smile on his lips, sending knowing glances her way, as though he were singing it just for her.  
  
We don't want lives of steel  
  
We don't want hearts that feel  
  
We want to live above it all  
  
I feel you closing in  
  
A target on my skin  
  
I think you'll be there when I fall  
  
We might get out of time  
  
We might connect our minds  
  
We might land beyond the wall when I fall  
  
I might give love to you  
  
I might step right on through  
  
Fear might keep me from it all  
  
I climb so high to see  
  
But the ground just teases me  
  
I think you'll be there when I fall....  
  
"Oh I bet you think you're really funny, don't you?" she snapped at him with a glare, interrupting the bridge of the song. He just shrugged with a smug smile, and mimed locking up his lips and throwing away the key. She nodded. "Yeah, it's probably wise for you not to say anything right now." She sighed. He started up playing again, but she interrupted, crying out, "Alright already! I'm going in!" and before she had a chance to talk herself out of it, she stormed into the diner.  
  
However, it was rather anti-climactic. Closing the door behind her, she waited for Luke to notice her and begin blushing. But he barely even looked up. She stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do next, and finally decided to sit down at the nearest table. She opened the menu to try and look busy, but of course it didn't fool anyone; she practically had the menu memorized by that point, and she only ever ordered a few specific dishes anyway. Just as she was considering approaching him at the counter, she found him standing by her side, pouring her a cup of coffee.  
  
"Oh-Luke," she said with an awkward snicker. "You scared me."  
  
"Gee, that'll do a lot for a guys self-esteem," he said in his usual gruff tone.  
  
"No, I just meant that you were like-right there. All of a sudden. I mean, one second you're behind the counter, the next you're right here next to me, pouring coffee. You're like a human pop up book or something."  
  
He ignored her clumsy attempt to begin conversation. "So what'll it be?" he asked. "Your usual dead cow on bread with grease covered potato chunks?"  
  
Lorelai chuckled. "Boy, as appealing as that sounds, I'm not really all that hungry right now."  
  
He looked confused. "So then why'd you come here? Cuz that's really all we provide; the food."  
  
"I actually came here to um..." she cleared her throat, avoiding his eyes. "Well, to talk to you."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"No, the other guy in a baseball cap serving me coffee." She sighed. "Yes, you, Luke."  
  
"You came here to talk to me?"  
  
She sighed. "I'm not sure how many other ways I can say 'Yes', Luke."  
  
"Did you have any particular conversational topic in mind, or were you just in the mood for some small talk?" he asked, a slightly amused smile playing on his lips.  
  
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Quit being a wiseass, ok? I just thought we should talk. You know, since we haven't since... well, since last night..."  
  
"Well, I would have called this morning, but my separation anxiety has been getting better lately," he said sarcastically.  
  
Lorelai shook her head, in awe. "What? Do you have amnesia or something?"  
  
"Lorelai-"  
  
"Don't you think we should at least discuss what happened last night?" she asked. "Just a little?"  
  
He sighed. "Look, Lorelai, it was an accident. No big deal. We were both caught up in the moment. Let's just forget about it."  
  
Lorelai was far too awed by his nonchalance to protest as he walked away. She couldn't believe it. She had been freaking out about the whole thing all night and day, and here he was, acting like nothing really happened. And suddenly, before she could even prepare herself to prevent it, she felt the hot sting of frustrated tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe her immaturity; she felt like she was right back in Junior High school, realizing the boy she liked didn't like her back.  
  
She blinked, trying to stop the tears. This is stupid, she thought. It wasn't like she was in love with him or something.  
  
But the sting in her eyes only got worse; and so, to avoid being seen in tears, she grabbed her purse and hastily rushed out of the diner and headed back to her house.  
  
And that was when it hit her, like it hit Cher in Clueless. There was no other explanation for the sting in her eyes and her jittery, unstable legs. She did have feelings for Luke.  
  
Of course, it was just her luck that she only realized it after he'd gotten over her.  
  
"You're an idiot, Lorelai," she muttered to herself, redirecting her path to Doose's market to buy some comfort food. "A complete and utter idiot."  
  
*****************************  
  
A/N: So yeah. I have two apologies to make. First, sorry it took so long to get this up. It's exam week and I've been studying a lot. Secondly, sorry there was no Jess/ Jimmy in this chapter!!!! That has to be a long conversation, and I didn't have time. but I promise it will come next chapter. PROMISE!!!!!!! And if I break that promise, well then I guess I'll owe you guys my first born or something... so yeah, please review and put me in a good mood for upcoming exams!!!! Hehe next chapter comes during the weekend, maybe sooner.  
  
~Emaline 


	8. Let Bill Gates Pay for the Pizza

A/N: I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I promised updates soon, and I had every intention of giving you all a bunch. But the powers that be had other plans I guess. My computer died. And then I had to go to France for 16 days, and when I came back, the computer was alive again, but the internet had died, so I couldn't even get onto ff.net to leave a note to tell you all what happened!!!!! Anyways, the ordeal is over now, and I will be posting regularly again, because I really missed this story, and I missed you guys too!!!!!! (at least those of you that I know from reviews and emails and stuff...) And thanks again to all of you who left nice reviews and emails, etc. I love you guys!!!!! And now, on with the show!!!  
  
***************************************************  
  
Chapter Seven  
  
Let Bill Gates Pay for the Pizza  
  
*****************************************  
  
I see you have made yourself a brand new life  
  
Such a cool blue star with a bright new shine  
  
I see you wear your checkered past just like a shining suit of gold....  
  
I am told you have found yourself a brand new time  
  
Watch the world stand still as the years go by.....  
  
I see you smile and I get angry  
  
As I watch you go colossal  
  
Like a California king  
  
All these Californians, coming up here  
  
and changing everything;  
  
They're just a bunch of carpetbaggers  
  
and I wish they'd all just go...  
  
What makes you think you are the only one immune to falling down  
  
Why can't you see  
  
I see you fall and I get happy  
  
I will watch you burn like fire  
  
I will watch you burn like a California king....  
  
*********************************************  
  
Jess entered his father's hotel room slightly cautiously as Jimmy closed the door behind him. Jess looked around at the blindingly white furniture and chic décor before remarking, "Nice place. Artsy."  
  
Jimmy snickered. "Yeah I know. It's a little over the top. But there's a great restaurant downstairs; makes the stay worth it." They both stood awkwardly, their eyes wandering, before Jimmy finally offered, "Have a seat."  
  
Jess looked around for a seat and settled into a plush arm chair as Jimmy sat on the edge of his bed, obviously more than a little nervous. After both of their eyes searched the room, desperate to avoid each others' gaze, Jimmy looked to Jess, confused.  
  
"So, how old are you now?" he asked, curiously. "19?"  
  
Jess looked to him, awkwardly. "No," he said. "18."  
  
"Oh," Jimmy answered, suddenly feeling ashamed that he couldn't even remember how long ago his own son had been born. He looked at his feet, feeling like a complete idiot.  
  
Reading his emotions like an expert, Jess tried to offer some comfort. "Hey, you were close."  
  
Jimmy snickered at his attempt to help him feel better. "Yeah," he said, "I guess." He paused, contemplating, before asking, "You're out of high school now, huh?"  
  
Jess nodded. "Yup. Just graduated a few days ago."  
  
Jimmy's eyes widened. "Wow," he said. "Well, congratulations, I guess."  
  
"Thanks a million," Jess replied, making sure the sarcasm in his voice didn't sound too sharp.  
  
"So, a few days ago, huh?" Jimmy said, not really asking. "You made it over here pretty quick."  
  
Jess shrugged. "It's not every day a guy like me gets to meet his father for the first time."  
  
Jimmy nodded. "Yeah... so I guess I owe you an explanation, huh?"  
  
Jess looked away from him. He wanted to be angry with him; he knew he had every right to be. But he couldn't bring himself to confront the issue. "Look, you don't have to explain yourself," he said. "I don't think there's much you could say to make up for it. Besides, I didn't come here to yell at you. I just... I guess I just wanted to know what you were like..."  
  
Jess shot him a glance, and quickly looked away. But in that split second, Jimmy could see in his eyes a desperate need to move on. Jimmy realized that his son was a lot like him; he never wanted to waste time dwelling on the past.  
  
But what were they supposed to do now, Jimmy asked himself. Be best buddies? Go golfing together, have a pint at the pub on the corner and watch Sunday afternoon football?  
  
Neither one of them said anything for a long while. Jess was just about to stand up and offer to meet him another time after they'd had some time to let it sink in, when Jimmy spoke up.  
  
"I love Television," he offered, like an eager schoolboy shouting out the answer to a math problem. Jess looked to him, confused, as he continued. "I mean-I love the band, Television. Not like TV. I mean, I like TV too. Mostly VH1 and comedy central... but I just meant to say that I, uh.... I have all their albums on disc and on vinyl." He chuckled weakly, suddenly embarrassed. "I guess that kind of makes me a dork..."  
  
Jess stared at him blankly, completely clueless as to what this was supposed to mean.  
  
"You said you wanted to know what I was like," Jimmy clued him in. "I was just trying to get the ball rolling, you know..."  
  
Jess couldn't help smiling a little at the thought that he and his father might have a lot more in common than piercing eyes and dark features. "I like Television too," he said. "Marquee Moon's one of my favorite albums."  
  
Though it was a small thing to agree about, it was obvious that to both of them, this shared interest meant a lot. Both had been expecting the worst from this confrontation, and both were pleasantly surprised with the direction it was taking.  
  
Grinning, Jimmy stood. "Hey, you wanna grab a bite to eat?" he asked. "It might make this a little less awkward; you know, if you don't wanna talk, you can just put something in your mouth and look busy." He chuckled nervously as Jess stood with him.  
  
"Yeah, I could go for some Pizza," he said as Jimmy opened the door for them both.  
  
"Hey, you like Pizza?" Jimmy said, a little over-excited. "I LOVE Pizza."  
  
Jess tried to suppress his smirk. "Gee, what a coincidence."  
  
"Yeah, ok," Jimmy said, laughing at his own actions. "I know I'm reaching. But I really do love Pizza."  
  
"Already noted," Jess replied as they stepped into the elevator, completely unable to hide the obvious, boyish grin he'd thought no one but Rory could bring to his face.  
  
****************************************************  
  
DING-DONG.  
  
"Go away, Sookie!!!" Lorelai called from the couch.  
  
"Lorelai!!!" Sookie called, frustrated. "Come on, let me in!"  
  
"I already told you over the phone," Lorelai said, stubbornly. "That front door's never opening again; No one comes in, I don't go out. Period."  
  
"So what are you gonna do when Rory comes back?!" Sookie called.  
  
"She's tiny, she can fit through a window!"  
  
Sookie sighed. "Lorelai, I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice!"  
  
Hearing angry, heavy footsteps leaving the porch, Lorelai leapt over the couch to the window and peered through the shades. Seeing Sookie marching straight to Babette and Morey's house, she knew what Sookie had planned. She was going to ask Babette for their spare key. This was a problem. If Babette heard that Lorelai was in a bad mood, she'd be over in mere minutes, with baked goods, various types of stew, tapes of her favorite soap, and some cognac, which, according to her, could fix any problem and heal any wound. Babette fancied herself a comforting presence, and her maternal instinct always led her to the bedside of any girl in town with love troubles. Lorelai knew, though, that once Babette made her way through her front door, it would be a long time before anyone could coax her to go back out it.  
  
Defenseless and defeated, Lorelai opened the door and called across the lawn.  
  
"Sookie! You can come in, just don't tell Babette, please?"  
  
Sookie shook her head as she crossed the lawn back to the Gilmore's porch. "You're spineless."  
  
"I was cornered!" Lorelai defended herself as they walked back inside. "I had no choice; you were brutal and merciless." She grabbed the blanket she'd been wrapped in before Sookie came and settled onto the couch once more.  
  
Sookie sat on the arm of the couch with her. "I did what I had to," she said. "I was worried about you."  
  
"You didn't have to be worried about me," Lorelai said, taking a bitter bite of the cold, leftover Chinese food she had on the table.  
  
"How could I not have worried about you?" Sookie cried. "You left me a cryptic message on my answering machine, and every time I tried to call you back, I got a busy signal."  
  
"I left my phone off the hook," Lorelai said. "And the message wasn't all that cryptic."  
  
"Not that cryptic!!??" Sookie cried, disbelieving. "It said, and I quote, "Sookie, it's Lorelai. I've recently decided never to leave my house again, so do you know of a restaurant that would be willing to deliver food every day? Thanks, bye."'  
  
Lorelai stared at her in awe. "You memorized my message word for word? That's creepy."  
  
"Well I listened to it about a hundred times. I was really worried, Lorelai, what the hell happened to make you decide to never leave the house again?"  
  
Lorelai avoided Sookie's eyes as she took another angry bite of Lo Mein. "Nothing happened," she said. "Absolutely nothing."  
  
Suspicious and on the verge of a revelation, Sookie eyed the Chinese food in Lorelai's hand. "Chinese food, huh?" she asked.  
  
"There's more in the fridge, you can have some if you want," Lorelai said.  
  
Sookie ignored the offer. "I thought you liked burgers better than Chinese?"  
  
"Usually I do," Lorelai said.  
  
Not saying a word in response, Sookie rushed to the window and peered out.  
  
"Aha!" She cried out, startling Lorelai.  
  
"Aha? Aha what?"  
  
"You're porch railing is still broken!!!"  
  
"Which means...?"  
  
"You had a fight with Luke!!!" Sookie cried out triumphantly. Lorelai rolled her eyes.  
  
"I did not have a FIGHT with Luke."  
  
"You must have!" Sookie insisted. "If you hadn't, you'd be at the diner right now eating a burger, and trying to convince him to come over here and fix the porch railing!" She paused. "What did you guys fight about?"  
  
"Nothing!" Lorelai cried. "We didn't have a FIGHT, Sookie; there was a complete lack of fight. In fact, there was a complete lack of anything resembling genuine interaction! I would have been happy to fight with him about it; at least then I wouldn't feel like such a complete idiot. Then, I would feel like a fraction of the idiot that I now am; maybe a 5th of the idiot. Well, unless it was a public fight in the diner, in which case I'd feel like more of an idiot than a fifth. Maybe a third in that case-"  
  
"Whoa whoa, honey, you lost me way before the part about fractions," Sookie said, sitting on the couch with her. "What happened? Start from the beginning."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "This is all your fault."  
  
"All my fault?" Sookie asked, completely bewildered. "How is it my fault? I don't even know what you're talking about-"  
  
"I kissed him!!!" she cried out.  
  
"You WHAT?"  
  
Lorelai didn't answer; she just buried her face in her hands. "I'm such a monumental idiot!!!"  
  
"Wait, let's be clear here; by 'him', you do mean Luke, right?"  
  
"No, Mr. Potato-Head," Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Of course, Luke. That's why this is your fault."  
  
"How is it my fault that you kissed Luke?"  
  
"You're the one who kept telling me he liked me, and you kept saying I had to do something before it was too late. Well, I did something, alright, something incredibly stupid. God, I should have realized what was going on. It was so obvious. He never brought it up, he never wanted to talk seriously about it. And then I, like a complete fool, just kiss him, for no good reason. I should have seen it coming!"  
  
"Seen WHAT coming?" Sookie asked. "I'm so lost!"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "He's obviously over me, Sookie."  
  
Sookie chuckled heartily, as Lorelai's forehead wrinkled at Sookie's totally inappropriate response.  
  
"In what universe could that possibly be construed as funny?" Lorelai asked, incredulous.  
  
"I'm sorry," Sookie said, trying to contain her laughter. "But Lorelai, honey, that's impossible. Luke can't be over you."  
  
"No trust me; he is; he's acting like it never even happened!"  
  
"Like what never happened?"  
  
"The kiss! Work with me, Sookie!"  
  
Sookie shook her head. "Lorelai, Luke is not over you. He's been completely hung up on you for years. He's the opposite of over you; he's under you. Way under you. Like I'm talking lowest-depths-of-the-Atlantic-Ocean under you."  
  
"Well maybe that was the case last time you had an in-depth conversation with him," Lorelai argued, "But since you last saw him, he must have built a ladder or something, because he's definitely not under me anymore."  
  
"Lorelai, you must be reading him wrong or something; he can't possibly-"  
  
"No Sookie, just-just forget it, ok? It's hard enough feeling this way; I don't really want to get my hopes up again."  
  
Sookie watched her for a moment before cautiously asking, "You had your hopes up?"  
  
Lorelai didn't answer.  
  
Sookie shook her head in disbelief. "I had no idea, sweetie. I thought you were still in denial, I never knew that you wanted... well, what exactly DO you want?"  
  
Lorelai shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "I guess I just wanted... SOMETHING. Anything."  
  
"I'm sorry," Sookie said, suddenly feeling guilty for encouraging Lorelai to go after Luke. "Hey, what do you say I go rent A Love Story and bring back some food from Al's pancake world and we mope together?"  
  
Lorelai cracked a smile. "That sounds great."  
  
**********************************  
  
"So," Liz began awkwardly, "This your first time in New York?"  
  
Rory shook her head. "No I've been here a few times before," she replied. "I came down a couple years ago with my mom and some friends to see the Bangles in concert."  
  
"Your mom's a Bangles fan?"  
  
Rory cracked a smile. "Yeah. I am too."  
  
'Gee, what's that like?' Liz thought to herself. She couldn't remember the last time she and Jess had agreed on anything.  
  
"When else have you been here?" she asked.  
  
"Well, about a year ago, I came down here to see-" she stopped short. She'd forgotten for a moment that she was with Jess' mother.  
  
"Jess?" Liz completed the sentence for her.  
  
Rory blushed a little, embarrassed. "Yeah," she said.  
  
The two of them were walking together, in search of a good restaurant to have lunch in. They were complete strangers, and any mention of the one thing they had in common, Jess, seemed to make them both unbelievably uncomfortable. It left them with very little to say to each other.  
  
"So," Liz began, trying to change the subject, "You like to read?" she winced at her own clumsy transition, but thankfully, Rory jumped on the subject eagerly.  
  
"Oh yeah," she said with a grin. "I love reading. I've developed something of a reputation in Stars Hollow for being a book worm."  
  
"Yeah," Liz said. "Jess is a big reader too..." she trailed off, realizing how stupid that must have sounded. "Of course, you probably already knew that, so I don't know why I said it..."  
  
Rory smiled. "Yeah, I've never known anyone to read as much as he does." she paused. "Do you like to read?"  
  
She shrugged. "I guess. It never really caught on with me like it did for him, though." She shook her head with a slight chuckle. "I don't know where the hell he gets it from. He never really knew anybody else who read like that."  
  
Rory smiled a little. "I think it must be something you're born with," she offered. "My Mom isn't exactly the biggest reader, either. Well, unless you count the writing in Cosmo and on the sides of cereal boxes."  
  
Liz giggled a little at this last statement to hide the bewildered look she knew was forming on her face. This Rory girl was confusing to her; like a walking contradiction. She was outgoing, but shy; polite, yet casual. She was mature for her age, and naïve at the same time. From what Liz could gather, she didn't exactly come from a perfect, wealthy family; and yet she seemed happy with her family situation, and simply happy in general.  
  
Liz couldn't figure her out, and she wanted desperately to just come out and ask her, "What's your deal? Tell me your life story; help me understand you."  
  
But all she said aloud was, "Your mother sounds like an interesting character."  
  
Rory snickered. "That's a really nice way to put it," she said. "Yeah, she's not really your classic Donna Reed type mother... but she's my best friend."  
  
Liz was convinced she was hearing things. "I'm sorry, what?" she asked, leaning closer to hear better.  
  
"She's my best friend," Rory repeated.  
  
"Well," Liz said with an awkward smile, "That must be really great."  
  
'Liar,' Liz thought to herself.  
  
Rory grinned. "Yeah, it is. Convenient, too. Makes everything easier; we can complain to each other when we have bad days, we can borrow each other's clothes... I'm even staying near home for college so I can stay close to her. Well, her and other people." She tucked her hands in her pockets, and hoped to God Liz wouldn't ask what other people, and force her to say, "Well, Jess, mostly."  
  
But Liz's mind was on other things. "College, huh?" she managed to get out.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Rory said, blushing. "I'm going to Yale."  
  
"YALE?"  
  
Rory grinned. "Yep."  
  
Liz was speechless. What was going on? Was the world rotating backwards on its axis? Was the world coming to an end? Had she accidentally wandered into an alternate universe?  
  
Jess was in a relationship with a girl who was going to Yale. A polite, nice, funny, smart, Yale-bound girl who liked to read and was best friends with her mother. And it was a serious relationship, too. How did this happen? Had he pulled a Madonna and reinvented himself when he got to Stars Hollow? Had he fooled this innocent, naïve girl into thinking he was... well, not the way he really was?  
  
Before she had a chance to think up something slightly intelligent to say in response to Rory's 'Yep', Rory spoke.  
  
"How about there?" she asked, pointing to a small Deli.  
  
"You mean Ellie's Deli?" Liz asked, incredulous. "I don't know if you'd like it there; it's not too fancy-"  
  
Rory giggled. "Well I don't do fancy restaurants, generally. They're not the most comfortable atmosphere for me. I mean the food's good and all, but there's just something about them that makes me nervous. I think it might be the ridiculously large number of forks." She chuckled nervously.  
  
"You're sure?" Liz asked again. "Deli's really are just the New York version of fast food joints, you know."  
  
Rory smiled. "Fine with me. For my mom and I, the 5 major food groups are hamburgers and French fries, pizza, leftover Chinese food, candy, and... well more candy, basically."  
  
Liz giggled. "Ok. Ellie's Deli, here we come."  
  
*****************************************  
  
"All right," Jimmy said as they sat in a booth together. "What'll ya' have?"  
  
Jess smirked a little. Jimmy's New York accent, which had been barely noticeable 25 minutes ago in his hotel room, was coming through clear and strong now. It had obviously been a LONG time since Jimmy had been back here.  
  
Jess examined the menu. 'Damn,' he cursed under his breath when Jimmy wasn't looking. He hadn't brought much money with him that day; definitely not enough money for a good size meal at Bertucci's.  
  
"Uh, I guess I'll just have a slice of pepperoni."  
  
"That's all you want?" Jimmy asked. "I thought you said you were hungry."  
  
Jess avoided Jimmy's eyes. "Well, I'm a little short on cash today--."  
  
"Oh cut that out," Jimmy said with a smile. "It's on me."  
  
"Nah, you don't have to-"  
  
"Yeah, but I want to," he said with the most fatherly stare Jess had ever received. "Besides, I'm the one with a 9 to 5 job. You're 18. You oughtta be spending your money on-oh I dunno, CDs, cool shoes Liz would never buy you..." he flashed Jess a mischievous smile. "Girlfriends. Not Pizza with some old guy like me."  
  
Jess smiled reluctantly. "Ok, fine. I guess we could split a pizza or something."  
  
"Great. Pepperoni and sausage sound good to you?"  
  
"Like music to my ears," Jess said sarcastically, putting his menu down.  
  
Jimmy smiled to himself. He could see that Jess had certainly picked up his old habit of sarcastic witty comebacks. That had been Jimmy's specialty at Jess' age. Some things must just be genetic, he supposed.  
  
"So, 9 to 5 job, huh?" Jess asked casually.  
  
"Oh yeah," Jimmy caught on. "I guess I never really told you about my work, huh?"  
  
"Sure didn't."  
  
"Right," Jimmy said, sighing. "Well, it's really just a hobby, but for the past couple years I've been writing weekly articles for a local newspaper in California."  
  
"What paper?"  
  
"Small, local one. Nothing you've ever heard of. Venice Beach weekly. It's just getting started, really."  
  
"So what'd you do before that?"  
  
"Well..." Jimmy fidgeted with his napkin a little. "I actually own a little chain of California restaurants," he said. "It's called Jimmy's. Real original, huh?" he chuckled.  
  
Jess was in awe. "You own a restaurant chain?"  
  
"Yeah," Jimmy said. "At first, I just opened up a little joint. Italian food, New York atmosphere. No big deal. But I guess it caught on with the California people, cuz it was like Jennifer Lopez's career; it just blew up all of a sudden. And the next thing I knew, I owned 14 restaurants named after myself." Jimmy shook his head with a chuckle. "It's crazy isn't it?"  
  
"Well crazy wasn't exactly the word I was looking for," Jess said, his eyes still wide. "But I guess it works."  
  
Jimmy sighed. "I guess I should explain... Jess, this is sort of why I finally came back here to see ya'. I mean, I haven't always been this successful. I grew up in a tiny apartment sharing a bed with my cousin Mikey, ya know? I never would have imagined I'd end up like this. But Jimmy's did well, and I took some of my money and invested it in good stock, and next thing I knew, I had even MORE money... I mean, I'm no Bill Gates or anything. But I've got enough. More than enough..." he trailed off.  
  
"What are you getting at?" Jess asked, trying not to sound bitter.  
  
"You gotta understand, Jess," Jimmy began again. "When I left you and your Mom... well, there were a lot of reasons, most of them stupid; but the biggest reason was that I had nothing to offer you. Or her. I just figured at the time I was an extra mouth to feed; I wasn't helping anything. I was working minimum wage in the city, and I was on the verge of getting fired anyway. So I left, and I swore to myself I wouldn't come back until I had something substantial to offer you." he sighed. "So now here I am."  
  
"And what exactly are you offering me?" Jess asked, his bitterness growing. "A trust fund, 18 years too late?"  
  
"I know the money thing isn't an excuse!" he said. "I know there isn't any excuse. I'm a jerk for what I did, and I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted to forgive me for it. But you said yourself you just wanted to know me." He sighed. "I want the same thing. The money has nothing to do with that. It's just that... I'm a simple guy. I don't want a private jet or designer suits. I don't have that much to spend the money on. I figured it couldn't hurt to give you some."  
  
The was a prolonged silence before Jess asked softly, "Are you sure about that private jet thing? Cuz that could be pretty cool."  
  
Jimmy snickered. "I'm pretty sure. I dunno, I've got a bizarre fondness for public transportation. Must be a New Yorker thing."  
  
They both smiled, relieved that the tension was mostly gone.  
  
"So now that that cat's out of the bag, ya' think it's ok if I pay the bill?"  
  
Jess chuckled. "Whatever floats your boat, Bill Gates."  
  
******************************************************  
  
A/N: Ok, sorry that was so short. Next one comes soon, and I MEAN that this time. unless I get abducted by aliens or something, which at this point probably wouldn't surprise me... but yeah, please review!!!!!!!! Ahhhh, it's so good to be back!!!!!! I missed this!!!!!!  
  
~Emaline 


End file.
